Not in Boston Anymore
by SammiKC
Summary: Kimberly Wolf dies and finds herself in Thedas right before the battle at Ostagar. Not to mention Flemeth is out to get her, she is falling for Alistair, and they dont shave their legs either. Lots of smut in later chapters!
1. I've Died and Gone To Thedas!

**I know you guys probably think stories where normal people are suddenly magically transported to a world of fantasy is cheesy. But I promise, this will be good. Just stick with it. This will go through Origins and 2. Rated M for mature statements and actions later on =)**

**Beta's needed too =)**

"Kimberly Wolfe, please come to my office" I heard my bosses voice drone on over the intercom. I tugged, irritated by the sudden disturbance, at my braid. He could have at least just called my desk, now everyone in the office would know I was in trouble. It's not like they held a 23 year old secretary to very high standards anyway. I worked at a publishing office in Boston Mass at the time, still going to school. My uncle was poker buddies with my boss so I got the job pretty easily, even if I were still on probation. I was an awkward woman, I still wore braids for god sake. I have to admit I wasn't at the best stage of my life at the moment, but I have very few complaints. I was overweight, not huge, or even obese, but I liked to eat out. I'm not much of a cooker, understand. I was average height, I used to think I was pretty good at gussying up enough where I could pass as pretty in society, but who ever really knows if they succeed at that sort of thing? I wore my brown hair either down, wavy and natural, or I braided them. It really depended on my mood, and if I wanted to spend even the minimal amount of time styling my hair.

Anyways, I stood and made my way to my bosses office, sure my face was red with embarrassment as my coworkers snickered. I knocked softly on the door, and there was no answer. So I knocked louder. This time I could hear my boss mumbling to himself as he read. I just opened the door slowly and poked my head in.

"Sir?" I said softly. He looked up with his pug like face and frowned.

"Ever heard of knocking Wolfe?" he barked, jerking his head for me to sit down. I didn't argue, I might have wanted to, but not even I'm stubborn enough to take the chance on a job. Especially in a city where they were scarce. Mr. Helkin went back to reading the manuscript he had been before. I crossed my legs awkwardly, my eyes shifting to the multiple awards and picture decorating his piss yellow walls.

"Wolfe!" he snapped. I jumped in my seat and looked back to him.

"Sir!"

"Do You know why you are here Wolfe?" he asked me. I had no idea, although I doubted it was anything nice, like a promotion.

"You gave the OK on this manuscript here?" He lifted it up, revealing the front page to me. It read, "King of Ages." I nodded slowly, it had been set on my desk that morning, so I had skimmed a few pages and put it on his desk. It really wasn't my job to do so, but I thought maybe I was being tested. Now I regretted even looking at the damn thing. He remained silent, setting it back down and looking at it with cold eyes.

"It…" he started, voice heated. I winced, preparing for the scolding of a lifetime. "Is really good Wolfe."

"What?" I asked, surprisingly calm.

"I said it was good Wolfe. I'm surprised you took the initiative. You've got balls Wolfe-" he chuckled at his own faux pas. "Do you want to be promoted? You could read the manuscripts and give them to me?" I gaped at him for a long moment, but a raised eyebrow told me I would have to reply quickly or this chance would leave.

"Yes, sir I would," I replied, as calmly as I could.

"Then get back to work Wolfe, tomorrow you can start," he pushed the manuscript away and picked up another one, dismissing me. The sexist, fat, prat, was my favorite person that day. I gave 110% on the rest of my work that day and I swear I couldn't stop smiling for the life of me. Obviously this confused my co-workers, the asses they were, and I felt pretty damn smug. I called my roommate afterwards to tell her the good news. Eva and I had been roommates since we moved to Boston from our hometown city of Keen New Hampshire.

"I am going to buy some wine for tonight, and some chocolate cake!" I exclaimed after a significant amount of squealing over the phone.

"Sounds good to me! Hurry up Kim, I am going to rent all of the Lord of the Rings. We can really geek it out tonight," Eva hung up before I could even reply. We only lived a few blocks from where I worked, she ran the bakery below our apartment.

I stopped in at a small store, Boston was filled with family run businesses, and I picked up some red wine and a rich chocolate cake. This was one of the rare good days I never had. I imagine I was probably whistling to myself, skipping down the street. Which is probably why I missed the signal, why I stepped out into the middle of the street to cross over, and why I was hit by the tour bus.

" As you see over there is the Boston- oh look we just hit a very stupid pedestrian. Now if you turn to the right…"

Of course I didn't hear this, I died almost instantly.

I didn't see my life flash before my eyes, nor did I see a gate of white or hear angels singing my name, excepting me into their arms. I remember thinking briefly, "I'm glad I didn't waste time going to church." There was a coldness, and I could feel my body, not a dejected spirit drifting. My eyes blinked in the darkness and there was a very rough wind around me.

"Aeirn…" a whisper floated through the air.

"Who?" There was a fast gush of wind that blew my hair back and caused my voice to choke on itself.

" Beware Urthemiel!" the voice cried in despair, it was a combination of two voices, a softer one echoing a louder one, both male. Unable to answer, I groped the air in front of her.

"Beware…"called the soft voice from beside me. Who? I wanted to ask. The voices didn't scare me, nor did the idea that I was dead.

"The Witch!" boomed the louder voice. My body jerked in reaction to the assault on my ears, and hands reached out and grasped my upper arms roughly, pulling me through the darkness.

The abrupt change between coldness and warmth, dark and light, calm and fear, caused me to scream. I closed my eyes and fought the hands that still gripped my arms tightly.

"Awaken girl!" the hands released and I opened my eyes at the harshness, the normalness, of the voice. An old woman with grey hair was sitting next to me, sharp eyes examining my face.

"What?" I croaked bringing my hands up to touched my face, my throat, my chest. I was alive! Wait…alive?

"Worried your missing something?" the old woman smirked.

"I was hit by a bus. A BUS. I should be dead…" I looked at my surroundings. I wasn't hurt, and I wasn't in a hospital. It was a wood room, a hut actually, dusty and unfurnished with anything I could recognize outside of the bed and a couple of chairs.

"You are dead, in a sort of….different way," the woman laughed. I felt like I was being played. A joke, hallucination, dream?

"I'm obviously not dead. Who are you, and where am I?" I demanded tensely. The woman raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"You are in Thedas. Fereldan, the Kocari Wilds, and my home. Will I regret having you here? I may."

None of that sounded even in the slightest familiar to me. For the moment I would hold utter disbelief in the facts given, until proven otherwise.

"Where is Boston?" Iasked calmly.

"In your world, I imagine. Surely not here," the woman stood and walked to a bookshelf and pulled two, three books down. I watched her wearily, putting my feet over the side of the bed. Looking down, I realized I was naked except for a white breast piece and matching underwear- clearly not my own. I pulled the blanket on the bed up under me arms to hide my partial nudity. I didn't look good naked- ever. The woman put the books on my lap, flipping the cover page of the first to a map that folded out to reveal a foreign text I couldn't read.

"This is…what language?" I hesitated to ask, hoping I didn't sound like I was being mollified.

"Tevinter, a little Fereldan too," she replied. She pointed to a spot clearly marked under "Ferelden" as "The Wilds."

"This doesn't prove this is real, or that I am not- as you say- in my world!"

"Proof? You want proof? A fool wants proof, a cat wants proof. A woman, gets proof," there was a shuffling outside of the door.

'For the sake of argument," I emphasized argument, " I admit that what I remember about dieing, 'cause that is what happened, and I don't recognize what little 'proof' of …Thedas? Yes, you have provided. Why am I here?"

"That," she replied, taking the book with the map and revealing the one underneath, " is because of this." It read " The Blights: Tales of the Old Gods." Something about it my heart pound and my mouth go dry.

"A blight?" I inquired, wrenching my eyes from the book to look at her. She had an amused expression, I was quickly falling for her bullshit. Was it bullshit? I couldn't shake this feeling that everything was off, different. I had very clear memories of the bus hitting me, and the darkness. There was no doubt that the accident killed me, it would have killed a horse with how fast and heavy the bus was. This obviously wasn't heaven- and only the cruelest satirist would call this woman a god.

"An old god, they introduced magic to the race of man-kind, slumber. They are tainted by an evil- the darkspawn, and raise to destroy man-kind and take the land. Poisoning it. This is a blight, when the tainted god rises in the form of a dragon to destroy the land," the woman's voice was low, as if memorized by her own words.

"Magic? Dragons, for god's sake! You have a god right?" I sneered, shoving the book away.

"Calm girl," was the reply, acidic. " You do best to respect the only person in this world who can help you survive- the one who gave you a second chance to live"

That shut me up. "Why me?"

"…I don't think I know the answer to that at the moment, all will reveal itself when the time comes."

"And now? What do I do? I have no possessions, not even the clothes on my back from when I died," I felt the urge to be petulant to this woman, whom I had to rely but couldn't trust.

"Morrigan!" the woman's voice reached what seemed like every corner of the hut.

"What do you want old woman?" a muffled voice called from outside. I waited for the woman to get made, show any hint of anger or irritation, but there was none. Instead she just chuckled, after a few minutes the door to the hut opened and a scantily dressed woman walked in with a seemingly permanent frown. She saw me and her lips pursed tightly.

"And your project is awake mother, is she all you expected?"

"My magic and thoughts are my own girl, just find something suitable for our guest to wear-"

"My name is Kimberly," I cut in heatedly.

"Not anymore. Find something else to call yourself girl. Find clothes Morrigan."

Morrigan looked at me critically and shook her head. I knew full well she was thinking something cruel about my weight. She was almost perfectly sculpted as a woman, with large heaving, barely covered, breasts and a tiny muscular stomach.

"Where are you going?" she barked at her mother, although I couldn't be sure that was their exact relationship.

"None of your business. I will be back tomorrow. Read those books I gave you girl, and listen to Morrigan. Sometimes she knows what she is talking about" She left without looking back at either of them.

"Come, I suppose I will find you something…temporary until I can…find….some travelers to trade with," Morrigan knelt by a chest in the corner and shuffled through the contents. I brought the blanket with me, setting all three of the books onto the table besides the bed.

"Is that woman…always so…." I hesitated.

"So..?"

"Nuts?"

Morrigan laughed and turned when she stood, holding some clothes and boots out for me to grab. Awkwardly, I kept the blanket up and took the clothes. She didn't move to leave and watched me with even eyes. I felt my face heat up and I eyed the door, clearing my throat. She rolled her eyes but left me alone. The clothes were simple, old styled cotton textured. A shirt, harsh but warm, a dark brown, and slack like pants, too long for my legs. The outfit was loose enough to fit, luckily, but too warm for the temperature in the hut. I put the boots on over the pant legs so they wouldn't be ruined on the ground.

"It will do for now," Morrigan stood in the doorway with a skeptical eye. I noticed the staff on her back and wondered if it was for protection.

"What now?" I asked, a mantra for me in this confusing situation. I was completely at the whim of these women.

"What do you know of Fereldan?" she asked.

"That…It's called Fereldan."

"Let us start there then, Shall we?" she jerked her head out the door for me to follow her outside.

"So now his son is the King?" I asked, sitting in front of Morrigan under a large tree near a shallow brook of water.

"Cailin," she nodded. We had spent hours discussing geography, short term history, terms and phrases. They had a god, the Maker, and even a Jesus-like person, a woman called Andraste.

"Right. He is married to…Anora? His fathers friends daughter. He is…a Teryn?" I was concentrating hard on having the vocabulary memorized. Which was difficult considering I wouldn't even be able to name most of the titles or historical facts of my own worlds history. From what I could tell Thedas was like medieval Europe but with a much more lax system. Oh, there were elves, giants, mages, and evil zombie creatures called darkspawn. No biggie.

"What?" Morrigan sounded irritated.

"Hmm?' I intoned, studying the surrounding forest.

"Still think it's all a dream? You will wake up any moment," she half sneered, half laughed. It wasn't that we didn't get along, just that we both held ourselves apart- refusing to be open. Our conversation had centered solely on Thedas, Fereldan specifically. Outside of that all I had really learned is that he name was Morrigan, the womans name was Flemeth, and they were indeed mother and daughter. Plus, on top of everything, they were mages. Although, when Morrigan called Flemeth a witch there was a glint of amusement in her smile.

"Lets talk about the mages for a moment," I casually smiled watching her reaction. Outside of looking slightly annoyed at me, she didn't seem to react. "You said they lived in a tower.." I started.

"Only the ones who wish to be jailed like animals," said Morrigan coolly. "Others, like myself, choose to live outside of the Chantry rule and away from the Circle of Magi."

"Because of the Templars?"

"As only one reason!" She began to stand, I scrambled to collect the books and join her. " Mages are treated like outlaws if they do not join the circle. Even if they are in the circle they are treated like prisoners and given little to no right as humans. Hunted and branded like filth. It is disgusting, but who would expect less from humans, surely not I!" she began to pace in her heated rant. I hadn't meant to egg her on like that, but she made very valid points. It was similar with the elves. She had told me about how they had been slaves, then free, and then enslaved again only to be freed later and treated like third class citizens. To be fair, they were a few hundred years behind my own when it came to social equality, and even then my world wasn't perfect.

"I agree Morrigan, it is horrible!" I nodded. Her eyes snapped and she stared at me, wondering whether or not I was bullshitting her.

"Even if we have the potential to be abomonations, it is unfair…do you agree?"

"Just because it is literal with mages, doesn't mean average humans do not become "abominations" when given power or greed."

"Oddly, acute of you to say. I am surprised to say the least. Not that a stranger to our lands would pick up so quickly on that which many have failed to in the seat of power, but that you are completely unskilled and yet are chosen by my mother." Her words were frank and to the point. I myself wondered what I was here for, after hearing that Flemeth wasn't exactly flimsy with her magic use- especially magic strong enough to pull a soul from another world to a corporal form.

"We should ask her when we get the chance," I grinned.

"Even then we may only hear something about "taking a chance" or some other nonsense," Morrigan laughed.

"Nonsense is it? The barkings of an old woman with one to many years under her belt?" Flemeth stood not 5 feet away from us, arms crossed with a sheath of papers in one hand.

"Do not spy on me mother," Morrigan growled, demeanor changing in an instant.

" Oh but how else would I know what is going on that head of yours? How is our guest doing?" she looked to me.

"I have learned a lot. Morrigan is a good teacher," I realized it was later in the day and I was hungry.

"I doubt that some how. Lets go eat, Morrigan has an errand to run. There is a grey warden leading fresh meat through the woods. I have something they want. Go meet them and bring them back," Morrigans eyes went flat at the order.

"Don't burn the food mother," she flexed her fingers and her body transformed before my eyes into that of a wolf. It was the first bit of magic I had seen, and it proved that I was literally, not in Boston anymore.

"Morrigan," said Flemeth. The wolf turned and looked at her expectantly. " Don't scare them silly. As far as I could see they were all men." The Wolf seemed to roll her eyes and she was off, running through the trees. The old woman turned to me and smiled, not gently or kindly, but keenly.

"Er, what's for dinner?" was all I could think of to say.

" I expect I can conjure up something suitable," she replied wickedly.

**Ok, so Alistair appears in the next chapter! I know Kimberly seems to be reacting pretty rationally, but later on when the significance of the Blight and he future part in it she will react exactly how you would expect her to!**

**Review and tell me what you think. Need a couple o Betas!**


	2. Thank God, erm, the Maker!

**Chapter Two**

**Enjoy Alistairs 1st Appearance! Beta's still needed 3**

Needless to say, Fereldan food sucked. Flemeth made, by hand, a sort of venison type stew with cabbage and herbs from her garden. I usually have a pretty open palate, and can take on anything. She made it so it had a grey brown look and a less than chunky texture. I could only eat a little bit of it before I told her my stomach couldn't handle anymore. All she did was laugh, well cackle is more appropriate, take my bowl and toss it into a bin in the corner of the room.

"Did you find a name?" she asked suddenly. I paused, utterly confused.

"What?"

"A name. You need something for people to call you in this world."

"Kimberly Wolfe doesn't cut it?" I clenched my teeth. It wasn't something easy for me to give up, my name. It was all I had left form my life, my world.

Her eyes bore into me in a fashion I was sure she often used with Morrigan to get her way.

"I don't want to lose my identity entirely," I thought for a moment. " Kimila Wolf?"

"Sounds Tevinter, it suits you," she nodded briskly. I had expected some sort of fight, maybe even a joke or two. Her head turned to the door and she smiled slightly. "My guests are here, come and observe." I stood and followed her out, feeling completely unsatisfied in the hunger department. Outside we could see Morrigan leading four men behind her to the hut. The first one was dark haired and extremely European looking with a small beard, the second a tall dark blonde with golden tinted skin and bright amber eyes, the third was rat like in the way he walked, a thief at heart if not in nature, and the fourth was homely with red hair and a pudgy face but a serious demeanor.

"Mother, I bring to you the four Grey Warden come to-" Morrigan started to introduce.

"I have eyes girl. Much as I expected."

"Are we supposed to belive you were expecting us?" the dark blonde asked in a suspicious voice.

"You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut one's eyes tight or open ones arms wide… either way one's a fool!" She sounded even more ridiculous then I thought she could. Morrigan stood beside me, back rigid as she feigned relaxation.

"She's a witch I tell you! We shouldn't even be talking to her," the thief looked panicked, nervous. Suddenly it occurred to me that everyone I had met so far had British accents. Curious.

"Quiet, Daveth! If she is really a witch, do you want to make her mad?" the homely one snapped, looking equally put out. Flemeth grinned and opened her mouth to say something but I was suddenly hit by a fit of the giggles when I picture Flemeth turning into a monster and biting Daveth's head off. Everyone looked to me as if I had suddenly been the one to turn into a monster.

"Erm, sorry," I knew I was blushing.

"And are you another witch?" Daveth asked nervously.

"She doesn't look like a witch does she?" the Blonde one smirked in a friendly manner. " Not nearly as intimidating as Morrigan, or as batty as her mother!" I couldn't help but bite my lip to hold back more giggles.

"Kim…Kimila." It may have been that I was unused to an attractive man talking about me, or that I was really embarrassed. Probably the later.

"That's not very nice Alistair," the dark haired one finally spoke, frowning at his companion. Alistair, the blonde one, smiled and shrugged at me.

"And what of you? What do you believe?" Flemeth looked to the first man curiously.

"I don't know what to believe," he replied nonchalantly.

"A statement that posses more wisdom then it implies. Be always aware. Or is it oblivious? I can never remember. So much about you is uncertain…and yet I believe. Do I? Why, it seems I do!" she was sounding crazier by the second.

"So, this is the dreaded Witch of the Wilds?" Alistair smirked at the dark haired one. I tuned her out after this point, watching the men with intense curiosity, particularly Alistair. In my world I never really had men pay attention to me, not that I assumed that was what he had done. It was just I wondered if I could have a relationship in this world. It wasn't like I was going to be able to head back to a dead body.

Finally Flemeth stormed out of the hut she had entered moments ago with the papers from earlier and handed them over to the dark haired man, whom I learned was named Jared.

"Thank you for returning them," Jared said with more politeness then was needed. I remember thinking that he was probably of noble birth or something, I hadn't any idea how right I was.

" Such politeness! Always in the last place you look, like stockings!" Femeth cackled. " Oh don't mind me. You have what you came for!"

"Time for you to go then," Morrigan looked more then ready for the men to leave.

"Already?" I chimed in.

"It is getting late and they have to return with their treaties, but feel free to go with Morrigan to take them back," Flemeth nodded.

"Oh, very well. Follow me" Morrigan walked off.

A little ways away I found myself between Jared and Alistair.

"So you arent related to them?" Alistair asked. I shook my head with a smile.

"G-Maker no!" I almost slipped but remembered last second to switch the deities around. " I am staying with them for..now. You could say Morrigan and her mother saved me." Morrigan looked back at me, ignoring the group following her, to give me a harsh look.

"So you are not a witch?" Jared shared a look with Alistair that was completely lost on me.

"No, not at all, why? Is that a bad thing?" I wondered. I didn't need anything else to set me apart from everyone else.

"You are a strange woman is all. You talk with an accent much like an elf, yet you are a human. You are staying amongst witches in the middle of a dangerous forest, but you have no means to protect yourself," Alistair frowned.

"Ah," so they had noticed my weight and foreignness after all. I winced, sighed, and shrugged.

"It's not really any of our business anyway," Jared quickly added, elbowing Alistair.

"Ow! Hey…" Alistair whined and rubbed his arm.

"Probably a trapped spirit used to lull strangers into comfort," Daveth muttered behind us. He very obviously was not attempting to keep his words hushed. Before anyone could reply Morrigan whipped around and pointed to a gate set up along the border of the woods.

"We are here. Time to go Kimila," she took my arm and led me away.

"It was nice to meet you!" Jared called.

"Twas indeed," Morrigan said darkly. I turned my head and smiled at them as I stumbled to keep up.

"Are most men that handsome in Thedas?" I asked coyly. She snorted and didn't reply.

OoOoO

It was getting dark and the sounds of marching and voices being raised echoes through the forest. Fires lit over the treetops as I looked out form my perch in front of the hut. Flemeth hadn't stuck around until we got back, so Morrigan and I waited.

"What's going on?" I stared up, a foreboding sea of sky.

"A battle. The Kings men hope to fight and win against a sea of darkspawn," was the short reply. Morrigan was uneasy by the atmosphere, I could tell because she suddenly could turn into a wolf and pace, turning back when a noise startled her.

"Will we be safe here?" I asked nervously.

"Of course, we are neither close enough to the battle, or helpless," she looked at me, " at least not both of us." Low blow, bitch.

It got darker, fast, and the sounds got louder, a stench fell thickly upon the hair. Bone chilling screeches filled the air, but I hadn't seen anything that resembled the darkspawn Morrigan had explained to me. A tower far into the distance caught my attention as the beacon lit brightly at the top. Only, moments later a large shape flew at it. I couldn't quite make out what it was, as soon as I tried to look closer Morrigan was at my side and jerking me into the hut.

"Morrigan!" I hissed, her grip was too tight.

"Wait here until Mother and I come in."

I could only nod my head obediently. Independence was a distant dream for me. It had only been a day and I was already feeling more distant from my past life. With no idea what was in store for me, I was totally at the whim of the Witch of the Wilds and her daughter. I sat next to the hearth and watched the flames. There was a sudden gush of wind that rocked the flimsy hut, the sound of giant wings, and then Morrigan talking to someone.

"Inside, now!" Flemeth barked. I met them at the door as they carried in a body. I could just barely recognize the face of Alistair. He had what looked like twenty arrows lodged into his body. His shield was still strapped onto his arm.

"Oh my god!" I helped them put him on the bed. Flemeth wasted no time in removing his shield and armor, her strength twice that of a grown man, her fingers as swift as a humming bird.

"Morrigan, you take out the arrows and I will heal the flesh. Kimila," she didn't even look at me. " Get some water and a rag and wipe up any blood that gets in our way. We have to hurry."

I went to the hearth and found that our dishes were magically clean, so I went to their water supply and filled the bowl. I had a hard time finding a rag, a clean one anyway. When I got back Morrigan was already working on her third arrow, the only one left in his lung. Flemeths hands and eyes glowed as she healed the wounds. This type of magic was less off setting then the animal transformations I had seen. I could only stay out of their way and occasionally clean off some blood. His shirt had to come completely off, I felt sick to my stomach. I had never seen so much blood before, he was covered in gashes and scars.

It was an hour before the arrows were removed, but still we had more to go.

"His arm is broken," Flemeth said calmly, never once breaking a sweat on the hot room. "Kimila, you will have to hold his shoulders down and keep him from moving too much." He had been in and out of consciousness, delirious with pain.

"Right," I moved to where his head was, behind the bed, and set my hands firmly on his shoulders.

"Morrigan, you will have to set it so I can put all the piece of bones into place. I cant heal it like it is or it will be useless."

Morrigan nodded and went straight to it. As her hands moved his arm into place, I could feel him start to jerk under my hands. I pushed down harder, watching his face. He was in so much pain, I wished there was something I could do for him. I wished I had some good old fashioned Tylenol. Flemeth was a skilled healer, so it only took twenty minutes or so to fix his arm. He was finally completely passed out so I let go of him. With the three of us together we could move him off the bed onto a cot near the hearth. Morrigan replaced everything on the bed.

"Mother, will you tell me what has happened? How did the battle fare?" Morrigan stared her mother down. Flemeth sighed.

" We should let the girl get some sleep, we will talk outside. The cot is yours Kimila," she told me. I didn't get the chance to say anything, not even a thanks, before they were gone. There was little chance of me passing out right after everything that had happened. I decided to sit beside Alistairs cot and see if he was ok.

Not that I didn't trust Flemeths healing abilities, but I didn't entirely. I sat down and set my hand against his forehead. No fever. I checked his pulse, not really knowing what to look for. It was pretty strong still. I looked over his bare chest, seeing old and fresh scars. This new world I was in was violent, and cruel. I remembered the other men he had been with and wondered sadly if they too were dead. Not that I would miss seeing Daveth again, but Jared had been nice enough. The homely guy didn't seem to bad either.

As I sat there, watching him and thinking about everything, I became drowsy. I pulled myself to my feet and collapsed on the bed.

OoOoO

When I woke up it was really sunny, and for a ephemeral moment, I thought I was in a hospital room. Then I recognized the ceiling as a thatch job, and the wood walls were uncharacteristic of any medical building I had ever seen before.

"You are awake then?" Morrigan stood near the hearth, looking at the bookshelf. I noticed that Alistairs cot was no longer near the hearth.

"Yeah, sorry if I slept too much," I grumbled. I am not personally a morning person.

"Mother wants to see you when you get the chance," she replied tersely.

"Whats she want?"

"I believe it has something to do with the surviving Grey Warden." I tried to remember what that was. A group of fighters who fucked griffons? No, something like legendary heroes who stopped blights.

"He was the only one to survive?" I asked.

"The man who was meant to get the signal quit the field. Everyone was killed. Mother managed to rescue the one." She was beginning to sound irritated.

"Thanks Morrigan," I tried to stand and get my balance, only to succeed and falling back for a minute to wake up. Eventually I forced myself to get up and stretch.

"I'll make something to eat then," Morrigan was already shifting through the dishes. I nodded, even though she was looking, and left the hut.

Flemeth stood outside with Alistair, who was staring across the land into the forest, back turned to me.

"And see here, she is awake now," Flemeth smirked at me. I fought the urge to flip her the bird. Alistair didn't turn to acknowledge me, and I didn't blame him. All of his comrades, friends, his people. They were dead on that field. "Maybe you can talk our Grey Warden into listening to reason." Flemeth went into the hut.

"Who am I? Doctor Phil?" I mumbled. I mustered the courage to walk up to his side. I just stood there for a long moment, before looking at him. He had this sad, distant look, like a lost puppy. My heart melted.

"I'm so sorry for you Alistair," I said sensitively. He looked to me, as if he just realized I had been standing there. He didn't reply, a puzzled look on his face. "You have forgotten who I am already?" Not that I wouldn't have understood if he had.

"No," he shook his head. " Of course not, I just…" he peered at me speculatively.

"What?"

"Was Daveth right before?" he asked abruptly. I gaped at him. What was he talking about. "Are you a spirit? A ghoul?" he added.

"Not that I know of no," I shrugged. It was the truth. " I suppose spirits are supposed to be foggy or something, and I have to idea what in the makers name a ghoul is." A small chuckle escaped his lips before he looked sad again.

"I just though…I can sense the taint in you is all. Maybe I'm just too upset to sense anything right now." The melancholy was contagious.

"Do you want to talk? I don't know exactly what happened, or who you…lost, but I know talking about things can help," I offered this lightly, not wanting to push myself on him. He didn't even know me outside of my name, he had absolutely no reason to trust me.

"Another time, maybe I can tell you more. For right now all that is important is that I am the only Grey Warden alive, and there is a blight that will go undefeated. More then just my friends will die," he shook his head glumly. I raised a hand and set it on his arm to comfort him.

"That is not quite true," Flemeth said from behind them. She was worse then a cat the way she could silently sneak up on you. We turned to her and my hand dropped.

"Huh?" Alistair shifted his body to cross his arms.

"You are not the only Grey Warden alive in Fereldan."

"They all...died last night!"

"Well, the ones in the battle were. Your friend the new recruit almost survived, but all I could manage to salvage was his gear and packs," she set nudged a pile of things at her feet.

"Then what are you-"

"Patience boy," Flemeth warned. Alistair shut his mouth and watched her wearily. She looked at me. "You felt it in her, the taint. Kimila here is very much a Grey Warden of sorts. She never went through the joining, nor does she exhibit any of the rewards of being a Grey Warden, but the taint is there, the arch demon blood is in hers."

"Eh?" was all I managed.

"That is not possible," stated Alistair stiffly.

"I believe we have already had a conversation about believing boy," she smirked. He winced and didn't say anything.

"Is that why…was this your plan all alone!" I asked angrily. I felt used, scared, sick. The word taint sent chills down my spine, and the idea that somehow I would be expected to be a Grey Warden made me sick.

"Even if she is, we hardly stand a chance against a blight, an archdemon!" Alistair looked far from convinced of anything.

"And I supposed you and your fellow Grey Wardens used your treaties as fuel for your fires?" She asked.

"Your right! The treaties demand aid from the mages, elves, and dwarves in times of a blight! And Arl Eamon! The Arl of Redcliffe would surely help us get aid against Loghain!"

"Mages, elves, dwarves, this Arl Eamon. That sounds like an army to me," she smirked.

"So can we do that? Build an army and stop the blight?" Alistair looked so eager my heart hurt. I wished I could be so eager. Truthfully, I was scared shitless. What did they expect of me?

"It wont be that easy you know, plus you cant expect ME to be of any use!" I hissed.

"Don't sell yourself short," Flemeth smiled. It was about a reassuring as a knife against my throat would be. She wasn't going to give me a choice on the matter. I knew there was a reason I didn't trust her.

"So Mother," Morrigan came out of the hut, "Shall we be having a guest for dinner or not?"

**So I am hoping to have time move a bit faster now, more stuff is going to happen. Next chapter is Lothering! From here on each chapter will be another part. So After Lothering will probably be either Redcliffe or Circle of Magi.**

**REVIEW 3**


	3. A Cute, Perfect Ass

**Chapter 3**

**Bioware owns all. Bleck.**

I was utterly miserable. Not only had Flemeth sent Morrigan, Alistair, and I on our merry way without any extensive explanation or help, I was suddenly seen as the leader of our little group. It's like if you took a newborn and asked them to lead a band of capable adults through the Amazon, they'd all be eaten by snakes. But dear, dear, Flemeth did take the time to tell Alistair all about me. Oh what an interesting conversation that made.

The conversation started innocently enough when Alistair asked me how I had the taint but was not a Grey Warden. I, of course, didn't know the answer so I looked to Flemeth for help.

" Because she is a spirit pulled from another world into a body summoned from the flesh and blood of an old god," had been her helpful reply. I imagine both Alistair and I looked like fish, the way we gaped at her in shock.

"Impossible!" Alistair exclaimed, multiple times, among his repeated insinuation that I was a demon, a darkspawn, or a ghoul.

"I'm human!" I replied hastily, "Right?" I looked at Flemeth. She nodded.

"Oh yes. And very much alive. I am at wonder though, as to why you are more curious about what she is, young man, rather then the fact she is not of your world."

"Right. I refuse to believe that," he crossed his arms. He was a very stubborn man, irritatingly attractive- but stubborn.

" It is not like I can prove it to you," I replied quietly. His eyes met mine as I tried desperately to think of anything I could use to convince him. In his place, no matter what anyone said to me, I would think someone, who claimed to be from another world, was a nutcase. He proved to be a better person then me. Alistair shook his head and sighed loudly.

"I trust Kimila," he pointedly looked at Flemeth, "but even if I accepted the fact she is human and still not of this world, how is she going to help me build an army and fight the darkspawn?" That was indeed a good question. I gave him a thankful smile which he returned.

"That is to be determined I think, by what Kimila does on the journey to the end," Flemeth answered in her vague, whichwasbeginingtopissmeoff, voice. She then preceded to give all of the supplies she had salvaged from Jared and give them to me. I offered them to Alistair who turned me down. There were some leather armors, a couple of blades, health potions ( Morrigan had to tell me what they were), a shield, and a few knick knacks.

"That armor will do you good, as I can not see much use you will be in a battle," Morrigan managed a smirk.

This was the point that I made when I stopped us halfway to Lothering. After we ran into a group of Darkspawn attacking a dog, a "Mabari." I cowered, terrified by the appearance of the darkspawn, my first glimpse of the hell I was putting myself through. It was odd though, for the majority of the battle I thought the monsters actually ignored me. I didn't really want to question the minor blessing. Alistair and Morrigan, with the help of the dog, had a pretty hard time fighting. In the end they both came back with minimal damage. The dog ran to me excitedly.

"Good doggy," I scratched his ears. I hadn't had any pets in Boston, not since I moved out of my house where my parents kept two labs. This dog was oddly shaped and colored, big and ferocious but with a childlike side. He wagged his tail and whined, pleased but unhappy.

"I think that's Jared's mabari, Leo?" Alistair looked rather uncomfortable.

"Poor boy," I whispered, hugging the mabari tightly. I wasn't aware of the deep connection mabari's had with their owners, but I could tell his heart was broken. Leo whined again into my shoulder. "He will have to come with us I suppose."

"What? Does that mean we will be taking that mangy mongrel with us?" Morrigan crossed her arms, frowning.

"He is not!" Alistair and I both exclaimed. Leo panted as I stood, and barked, almost like he was agreeing with us. Alistair had to explain to me what a Mabari hound was and why they were important.

"Am I the only helpless one then?" I asked dejectedly. Neither of them wanted to answer me, and Leo just looked blissfully ignorant. "I think it is important that I know how to protect myself. I don't know what Flemeth planned, so I cant just….do this without helping in some way!"

"What did you have in mind exactly?" Alistair asked cautiously. I wasn't sure how to answer that.

"We don't have the time or place right now to worry about that," Morrigan shook her head. I looked between them helplessly but neither could give me any answer.

"Once we get out of Lothering, we are setting up camp and discussing this again,' I warned. We were an odd group of people to begin with. Alistair and Morrigan bickered consistently, either about apostate mages or history. Alistair would go randomly silent, eventually not speaking at all. There was a awkward rift between me and them. I was from another world, I had no idea what they were talking about most of the time. I felt utterly melancholic by the time we come to the part of the Imperial Highway that intersected to Lothering.

A group of bandit greeted us, asking for money for passage. It was the entirely wrong time to get on my nerves.

" SERIOUSLY!" I snapped at the leader, a man with an annoying voice and sarcastic attitude. The bandit raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. His men shuffled around him. Sure they were intimidating, but when you are in a world of men who don't bathe regularly and know how to kill a person simply out of the necessity of living….wait. I took a deep breath and calmed down as best I could.

"We don't have that sort of money," I told them.

"And what if I said we don't believe you?" the leader asked.

"Believe what you will, it doesn't change the fact I don't have the money!"

"Then you don't get to pass."

Alistair's hand clamped down on my mouth before I could let my temper flair. Dealing with people from Thedas was proving very difficult for me.

"If you don't pay the toll, you don't go through," the dumb bandit chimed in. The leader sneered at him.

"They're robbing people Alistair!" I frowned up at him. I looked to Morrigan who sighed.

"Do they really wish to fight a mage? I dare them to try me," she said, loudly. I saw the bandits shift on their feet nervously.

"I suppose," I agreed enthusiastically. "If they really want to try it. Maybe they want to try it." Alistair looked us like we were nuts. He wanted to avoid fighting with our small group so vulnerable, he didn't know we were of the same mind.

"Ah you know what, maybe we will just let you pass," the leader winced.

"Oh, I don't know. I'm sure if we kill you we would get a reward for it," I smiled cheerily at them.

"No!"

"Then I suggest running my friend," Morrigan smiled predatorily. The bandits didn't stay around long enough to say anything else.

"Where would I be without you Morrigan?" I sighed with a smile.

"Dead."

"How cheery," Alistair mused. We moved on, and I finally got a glimpse of Lothering. It was, frankly, a dismal looking place. It wasn't very large, but there seemed to be people everywhere.

"Ah, Lothering, as pretty as a painting," Alistair chuckled.

"So, I take it falling on your sword in grief seemed like to much trouble ?" Morrigan asked sarcastically.

"Is my grief that hard for you to understand? Have you never lost someone close to you? What would you do if your mother died?" he looked truly irritated.

"Before or after I stopped laughing?" I had to agree with her on that, knowing their relationship Morrigan would be amused.

"Right, creepy that. Forget I asked."

"Stop teasing him Morrigan," I frowned at her insensitivity. He glowered but didn't say anything. I looked to the man and smiled reassuringly. "Did you have something you wanted to talk about Alistair- Morrigan." I gave her a warning look.

" I was just wondering if you had a plan," he asked.

"What about that Arl Eamon? shouldn't we go to him?"

" And the treaties? Have you looked at the treaties?" I was to embarrassed to say no, so I nodded. "Do you need directions?"

"How about you just…lead us there and everything?" I asked impishly. He grinned and shrugged.

"I suppose I can do that, but trust me when I say that leading is not my strong point."

" I personally wouldn't trust him to lead us to camp, let alone across Fereldan," Morrigan grumbled.

"And I am so much better? Yes, let the girl from another world lead you across your country," I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, sounds like a plan!" Alistair grinned.

"Let us just go into Lothering and be done with our business!" Morrigan exclaimed.

OoOoOo

"You haven't seen a dark haired man? A younger man with facial hair, he would be wearing armor and traveling with at least one other man?" I could hear the armed men ask another patron in the inn. Everyone said no, and the men were getting frustrated.

"We have to find the Grey Wardens! They betrayed King Cailin!" the second man slammed his fist on the table sending drinks scattering. I had to clench Alistair's arm to stop him from doing anything rash.

"You shouldn't be trying to scare people like this, I don't think they would lie to you," a woman in a gown, like a nun ( a sister at the Chantry, the same as a nun in a Church) tried to mollify them.

"Don't get in our way sister or so help me!" The first guard raised a hand. My body betrayed my feelings and I let go of Alistair to grab the mans gauntlet. He glared at me.

"I don't care if the Maker himself told you to find the Grey Wardens, you do not hurt an innocent woman!" I let his arm go, my heart thumping. I guess Flemeth summoned me with some balls. Shit.

"Not many will believe the Grey Wardens would do something as stupid as betray the King!" Alistair said stiffly.

"Treason! I was there, I saw everything! The wardens sent good King Cailin to his death. Loghain was fortunate to get away," snarled the man viperously.

"There is no reason to start a fight," the sister interjected again, her accent reminding me of the French exchange student I met in High School.

" We will find and kill the Grey Warden!"

"It's too late. They all died," I hissed darkly. "Run back to Loghain and tell him people will not so easily be bullied."

"Or else?"

" Lets see how you match up to a entire village of angry refugees who lost their homes because Loghain ran away and let the darkspawn win." They glared at me and my companions before scrambling away.

"Thank you for not killing them, I can see at least your companions are capable of it," the sister chuckled.

"Well, I would like to avoid senseless violence. Especially when they are only fools chasing ghosts"

"You do not know of the Grey Warden they were talking about?" she asked.

"Well they weren't exactly looking for the right Grey Warden sister," I grinned.

"You!" she whispered in shock. I nodded my head toward Alistair and smiled, putting my finger to my lips.

"As long as they are looking for the wrong person, we will be safe so keep it secret please."

"I wont have anyone to tell on the road," her reply was….vague. "I expect your companions already know yes?"

"What does that mean?"

"Oh, I am coming with you," she replied nonchalantly. Taken back, I couldn't find words to reply. "The maker told me," she added.

"Right…could you maybe elaborate?" I couldn't help but be skeptical and a little freaked out.

"Well, I had a vision that told me to help stop the blight. So I am going with you. I am a skilled fighter, despite being in the chantry!" I had to think about it for a very long moment. For me, having another person capable of fighting ( protecting me) was a blessing, but I couldn't help but wonder what responsibilities would come with having a new companion.

"I cant really turn down anyone who wants to help," I finally said.

"Aren't we full up on crazy?" Alistair added thoughtfully.

" I wonder what mother saw in you sometimes," Morrigan shook her head with disapproval.

OoOoOoO

I got Leliana equipped in some of the armor and found she was skilled in the bow. In my mind I couldn't help but think of Robin Hood while looking at her. She would be the one who stole from the rich to give to the poor, not that any of my other companions, including myself, would be ok with the title of "Merry Men."

Alistair and Leliana managed to sell and trade some of our things for money so we could supply ourselves with equipment. Leliana told me to save some of the leather armor so she could help me fasten some for myself. Was it that obvious to everyone I couldn't protect myself? As we were leaving Lothering I heard an odd, deep chant coming from our left. There in a cage was a giant-like man with tan skin, meditating in a cage.

"Hey, who is that?" I asked Leliana. She saw him and her face fell.

"I heard the Revered Mother say he slaughter an entire family of farmers. She was going to leave him for the maker to decide his fate," she replied.

"That is so inhumane!" I cried. Even if he did kill people, a fair and proper judgment should be decided on. The darkspawn were coming toward this village fast, and I couldn't imagine a crueler fate. I ignored my companions surprise as I strode over to the cage and got a better look at him.

"You are not one of my captors. I am not here for your amusement Human. Go away," he told me bluntly. He had a calm monotonous voice that betrayed no emotional turmoil at his predicament.

"What are you?" I couldn't help but ask, even if it was rude. He didn't look surprised and just stared at me with large, dark eyes.

"I am a Qunari. I am Sten of the Berasaad."

"I am Kimb-Kimila, it is nice to meet you." This DID seem to get a reaction of him, although it was brief and kept to a minimal.

"That is a politeness I had come to not expect of your kind. Either your mock me or are sincere. Not that I matters."

I turned to Alistair and Morrigan and shrugged at them, a silent inquiry for their opinion. "Qunari are known for their abilities in fighting, I'm just pointing that out is all,' Alistair replied.

"Tis a proud, noble man. We cannot allow him to stay caged like an animal!" Morrigan fumed.

"I will be back Sten," I told the qunari warrior. He didn't reply and went back to his mediation. I told Leliana my plan and we both left the others behind and went to the Chantry. We had been their earlier, met Ser Donall, and talked to the Templars. The reason Loghains men had been after Jared and Alistair, not knowing the earlier was dead, was because Loghain declared them outlaws. He claimed they had been the ones who led the King to his death and the army to lose. Now, I was intent on getting the Revered Mother to release Sten to me. Since Leliana had been a sister there, and was apart of that community, she would be the best person to talk the Rev. Mother into it.

I paid the tithe, 30 silvers, with a single tear, and asked about Sten. She automatically seemed upset, claiming we would be at fault were he to kill again. Leliana did convince her that he could do good with us. With her permission, and the key to the cage, we went back and let him free.

"I did not think she would part with it," Sten commented.

"She is only letting you go if you go with us."

"What is your goal?"

"To stop the blight," I replied with a dry mouth. Even saying it made me feel sick with the impossibility of it.

"You are a Grey Warden then?" he asked. I almost said no, but Alistair noticed and set a hand on my shoulder, clearing his throat. I was supposed to be pretending to be one, well not pretending because Flemeth had said for all intents and purposes I was one. I nodded, and he quickly agreed to join us. We all departed together. We didn't have much armor left but Sten managed to fit into some chain mail.

We ran into more darkspawn on our way back onto the imperial highway. Two dwarves, yes my FIRST dwarves, were being attacked. We managed to kill them, although I was again seemingly ignored by the beasts, I tripped a couple of them and avoided being seen fighting by Sten. Bodahn and his son Sandal were thankful, but went on their merry way- or so I thought. As we went to leave I stepped on something. It was an idol statue of sorts, archaic and magical in design. I thought it was pretty neat, so I put it in my pack with Jared's other knick knacks. We managed to find a nice camp to set up at, where Bodahn and Sandal found us and asked to stay at our camp. I couldn't say no, especially when Sandal gave me that lopsided grin and said, "Enchantment?" It was too goofy.

OoOoOoO

A dragon screamed over the hordes upon hordes of darkspawn who all seemed to go into orgasm simply seeing the arch demon. I could almost understand the words of the demon.

"Kill them, kill the mortals," it was a male voice, dripping with evil intention. My entire being rejected the scene, but something was terribly attractive in the way the arch demons voice seemed to direct itself at me.

"Aeirn, come to me!"

OoOoO

"Kimila!" someones large hands shook me awake. My eyes popped open to stare up at Alistair's wide, worried, amber ones. We hadn't really set up tents yet, so I had been on my bedroll near the fire.

"Ali..?" I tried to clear my head, the picture of the arch demon haunting my waking mind. He didn't remove his hands but he helped me sit up. What was my dream? I could remember the arch demon, but had it said something? Could dragons talk?

"Were you having nightmares?" his voice was off, serious. I shrugged and groggily licked my lips. I was never very good at waking up, especially suddenly.

"Yeah, I think. It isn't very clear. There were darkspawn, thousands of them. It was underground, and there was a giant dragon talking to them, telling them to kill everyone." And then…hadn't something else happened? He finally let go of me and sat back onto the ground. "What's wrong?"

"Grey Wardens get nightmares like that, it is because of their connection with the taint. They aren't really dreams though, more like you are seeing through the eyes of a darkspawn and are witnessing actual events."

"I guess Flemeth was telling the truth then. I am like a Grey Warden," I whispered the last part, bringing my knees to my chin and staring at him. He looked particularly handsome in the fire light.

"Unlucky you," he replied ruefully, a sad smile applied to his attractive face.

" Thank you for worrying," I added before I realized what was coming out of my mouth.

"That's what I'm here for," did he blush? Blast it, I couldn't tell from that angle. There was a long pause, not really gauche but instead serene, as we were the only ones awake. "Did you know you moan in your sleep?" His sudden question caused me to stagger verbally.

"M-moan?" I inquired shyly. He chuckled, eyes meeting mine again. There was a certain depth to them, a warmth that echoes both humor and emotion, that caused my heart to thump rhythmically in my chest.

"At first I wasn't even sure if it was a nightmare, at least not until your moans turned into life threatened screams."

What an ass. A cute, perfect ass.

**Hehehehehehehehehe. Next chapter will be the Circle of Magi, and well...some dirty dirty smut. Review and whatnot to keep me motivated! Beta's needed =D**


	4. Ew, Abominations pt 1

PART 1

"We should go to the mages tower first," I said thoughtfully. We had spent the greater part of the morning talking about what we were going to do next. Sten was getting very frustrated with our indecision and lack of action, but I was too worried about what we should do next. If what Ser Donall said about the Arl was true, he wouldn't be in very good condition. Alistair, I could tell, desperately wanted to get to Redcliffe. Morrigan seemed none to pleased to go to the Circle, but she kept her mouth shut. Leliana didn't really care, it seemed. No one outright defied me, which I thought was odd. I had stopped asking them why I was in charge, but I made it well known that I was NOT pleased with it.

"If we go to the mages circle first maybe we can bring some with us to Redcliffe to help the Arl if he is still sick," I tried to mollify Alistair. Maybe I was just a little biased, I really wanted to meet more mages.

"I suppose that will work, we could save the Arl with more help," he nodded.

"I swear, as soon as we are done at the Circle, we will go straight to Redcliffe," I promised. He smiled at me when I patted his shoulder.

We started off early, as the sun rose and warmed the earth around us. To pass the time Leliana told us many stories, one about Aveline the Chevalier, the story of Andraste, and even the one of Flemeth at my behest. Needles to say, I was skeptical about her flowery version of how Flemeth was in love as a beautiful young women and turned to demons for revenge. It took all her willpower for Morrigan to keep her mouth shut. Leliana seemed perfectly happy telling her tales.

"Do you know anything about the Old gods outside of their business with the darkspawn and blights?" I asked her as we walked side by side. She thought about it a moment before nodding.

"I do know one, but it is more of a myth then an actual story. It is about the old gods before mankind."

"They were around before man?"

"It is said that they were alive with mankind and turned them against the maker, so he put them into a deep slumber where they could only be in the fade. There they corrupted the minds of the magisters. Surely you know the tale of the darkspawn?" I didn't, but I couldn't really tell her that. All I could remember Morrigan telling me was how mages have their magic from the old gods. I just shrugged, trying to get her to continue. She gave me a curious, skeptical look. What I wouldn't give to have an Ipod with the Wikipedia app.

"Before the Maker created humans," she continued. " There were the Old Gods. There were once believed to be 9 Old Gods, instead of the 7 Slumbering Gods. There were two female gods, who preferred the shape of what would later be the form of human kind, rather then the dragons. In this story, they could turn into either. Their names were Emellanar and Aeirn. Emellanar was a powerful goddess who could control time and space, traveling all over. Aeirn was the lover and nurturer of the other gods, caretaking for the world around them. They were all content with their world, their lives, but Emellanar became secretive and hateful of the Maker. When man was created, only Aeirn excepted them and taught them how to survive. The other gods were unhappy with the Maker, and listened as Emellanar told them of how the Maker would favor them above anyone else. One day, Emellanar convinced Aeirn to travel with her to another world. Because she loved and trusted Emellanar, Aeirn agreed. While they were gone the seven other gods tried to turn the humans against the Maker, and were put into a deep sleep by the Maker. The hate of the gods in their sleep created a taint, and when they convinced the magisters to try and take over the gold city, the darkspawn were created. Emellanar and Aeirn were never heard of again."

For the longest time I couldn't find words. I recalled the name, Aeirn, from when I died. It had stuck with me, like everything those beings said before I entered this world.

"So there are old gods still walking around, corrupting the innocent?" Morrigan snorted. I began to feel sick to my stomach, could it be a coincidence? Not a likely probability.

"Are you alright? You look pale," Alistair frowned, looking at my face. I gave him a small, forced smile.

"I'm fine, really. That was a good story Leliana," I swerved to the other side of Alistair, leaving Leliana and Morrigan to discuss the value of mythology. I waited for a moment before tugging on his armor. I was a good foot or so shorter then him, so it would have been too difficult to whisper. At first he didn't quite get what I was going for and just smiled at me, cheerfully. Rolling my eyes and nudged him in the side, which only ended up bruising my elbow and causing him to grunt in surprise. This alerted everyone, so we stopped in the middle of our venture. "Erm, grey Warden stuff, we'll be right back, hold tight," Alistair followed me a good distance away from our group.

"So you wanted to be alone?" his lips threatened to upturn, his manner was very suggestive, in a playful way. His humor was irritating at times, but I couldn't really be mad at him.

"You were listening to Leliana's story right?" I asked in a very low tone.

"Yes…"

"Remember the names of the woman gods?"

"Emellanar and Aeirn?" He looked confused. Again.

"That name," I started.

"Aeirn?"

"Yes, when Flemeth…summoned me into existence I remember hearing two voices in my head and they said that name. At the time I obviously didn't know what it was, and I really didn't remember it until Leliana's story."

"It's a myth, I don't think even the Chantry would admit to it being real," his voice gave away a certain contempt for the Chantry's beliefs.

"Don't you think it is odd though? We have no idea why Flemeth summoned me to your world, and voices in my head are telling me names of gods?"

"Well, if you suddenly hear the voices saying 'Kill Alistair, kill the dashing man!' then I will start to see a connection," he joked. I was very close to getting frustrated with the man when something caught my eye as a shadow moved behind a tree. A wisp of red hair and pale leather armor gave away immediately who it was.

"Leliana!" I hissed, not angrily but in surprise. I heard a string of hefty Orlesian cusses ( I had to assume that is what it was because it sounded French and I couldn't understand a lick of it) and she came out from hiding. "You were spying on us!"

"And that surprises you?" Alistair asked lightly, infuriatingly.

"I knew that you were hiding something Kimila," Leliana said, in a level voice. " My curiosity would not be slated by incoherent gestures either."

"So you heard everything I said?"

"Yes, all of it. I wasn't trying particularly hard to hide, so it is not surprising I stumbled when I heard it," her eyes were not upset, or even accusatory.

"I don't suppose you can shrug your way out of this one," Alistair chuckled. He was nervous, I could tell because his smiles always looked plastered, fake, and his laugh became strained.

"Yes, I should just go ahead and tell her that I am a being from another world brought here through evil, powerful magic. That I am a Grey Warden only because my body and blood are that of an Old God, and I'm being turned on by dreams of the arch demon-"

"What!" Alistair's voice actually cracked as he reached a very high note.

"I meant, I understand it," I quickly corrected myself. I mentally kicked the shit out of myself for the Freudian slip. "Anyway," I looked to Leliana, " I'm sure you want to run away right about now and join the Chantry all over again, yes?"

"And leave you helpless? I suppose no one knows how to fight in your world. Kimila, you really need to get into shape!" she exclaimed. That was really not what I was expecting and I was so put off I could merely gape at her.

"Oo, glad I didn't say that," Alistair winced. I felt my cheeks burn, although glad Leliana wasn't terrified of me, of my short past, but embarrassed. Why did I have to be surrounded by beautiful people? Was god, well the Maker, punishing me for all the years of cake and video games?

"Let us go to the Circle before the archdemon comes and swallows us whole!" Morrigan called from their resting point.

"Yes, we wouldn't want you to get eaten," Alistair snorted, "Well, at least not all of us."

OoOoOoO

"Aren't Queens generally female?" I asked hotly.

"Don't question royalty!" the Templar snapped, his snaky attitude getting the full blunt of my frustration when I glared.

"There must be something you want!"

"Well, I am feeling a little pekish…"

"Parshaara! Munch on these if you likem" Sten exclaimed thrusting a package forward, into the hands of the templar.

"Oooh, cookies!" The templar ate one. Everyone in my little group blanched at Sten.

"Where did you get those!" I asked him. His lips pursed tightly.

"There was a child-a fat, slovenly thing-in the last village we passed. I relieved him of these confections. He did not need anymore."

"So you stole from a child?"

"For his own good!" I recognized the look Sten was giving me, it was the same look my mother gave me whenever I saw her for the holidays, and the same look Morrigan had had when she first met me. Did Thedas have a diet plan? Not that simply trying to eat Fereldan food wouldn't slowly starve me. I didn't know how long I could keep the ruse of being a true Grey Warden from Sten.

The Templar took us over to the circle tower, I wasn't inclined to thank him, and he didn't seem too willing to stop eating. He also made me leave behind some of my companions. I decided to take Leo, Alistair, and Leliana. Morrigan looked really unhappy, and Sten was still upset about the cookies. Inside we met Gregoir, the templar commander who had put everything under a lockdown.

"Abominations?" I inquired, hearing the words used on those terms for the first time. Morrigan had mentioned it before, but she always treated it like some sort of urban legend. That was one good reason to turn tail and RUN. Far, far away.

"We have to try! Some have to be alive," Leliana cried. Was she insane! We…I could be killed! More then likely they would survive with a few minor injuries, but I would end up being a mangled, slimy mess on the first floor!

"I agree," Alistair nodded. " I understand the dangers of what is happening, but we need the mages. For our treaty and for the Arl." I had forgotten my promise to him, about the mages and the Arl. I was being pulled into this, whether or not I wanted it. I looked down to Leo, as if hoping he would help me in some way. He was leaning against my leg, panting and drooling.

"It is foolish," Gregoir stated stiffly. He sounded almost convinced, even if I myself had not said anything! "But, if you can get the First Enchanter, I will call off the Right of Annulment." If he killed all the mages, we would be royally screwed. I really felt like I had no choice now, and Alistair's pleading gaze didn't help matters much. I was a sucker for cute guys, but this was a bit pathetic.

"There have to be some alive," I admitted.

"I warn you, once the door is closed, it will not be opened for you until the First Enchanter is with you." With those words, Gregoir allowed us to enter the tower.

The entire first floor stunk of dead flesh, fire, and blood. As we went through the door out of what looked like a dormitory, we ran into four mages with young children. The eldest, a white haired woman, protected them.

"Who are you? Stay back!" she warned.

"We are here to help," I replied cautiously. I wasn't aware of the exact terms of an abomination or a blood mage. "Gregoir sent us. I am a Grey Warden, these are my companions. Alistair, a Grey Warden, Leliana a ex-sister of the chantry, and Leo our furry companion." She seemed to relax at my extended introduction.

"I will except that for now. My name is Wynne, Senior Enchanter. What are you doing here? Has Gregoir finally sent for the Right of Annulment?"

"It isn't here yet! If we can get the First Enchanter to him, he will call it off," I explained. Wynne was a very "to the point" woman, I liked her.

I met my first Abomination when we got to the library. It was a monster, with melted looking flesh hanging around its head and shoulder, scaly arms and tattered robes. Unlike the darkspawn, it did not ignore me. Alistair tried his hardest to get the attention of any other abominations, but there were only four of us, I had sent Leo to stay with the kids and protect them.

The abomination leaned toward me, hissing, and it giant claws swiped down at me, leaving a trail of deep cuts down my arms…

TO BE CONTINUED

( The smutty dirty stuff comes up next in the Fade)


	5. Ew, Abominations pt 2

Chapter 4 part 2

[This may be confusing, stick with it ;)]

My eyes fluttered open, and I was in my bed, a soft queen, with green and blue designs on the comforter. My mother had bought it for me when I first moved out. Oh how I had missed this! Well, not miss, because I had never been away. I yawned and sat up to stretch. I was in my favorite pajamas, a thin tank top and matching shorts I had bought quite a few years back, in my skinnier days. I sighed happily at my surrounding, as if I didn't see them everyday. What day was it? Did I have to work? I looked lazily to the clock near my bed. It was noon, and Saturday, so I didn't have work.

"Thank you Ma-God," I laughed, what was I going to say? Maker? What a silly thing to call him. I made to get out of the bed so I could take a quick shower, but suddenly the door opened to my room and a delicious smell wafted in. Eggs, toast, bacon, and orange juice, my favorite breakfast. Thinking it was my roomy, I jumped back on my bed and crossed my legs nonchalantly. Instead of my nerdy, girl roommate, there stood a half dressed, gorgeous, very familiar, blonde man. He was in amazing shape, with a foolish looking grin. In his arms he had a tray with food, and the paper. My first reaction was to cover up my body, and scream, but suddenly I remembered.

"Good morning sunshine," he grinned and winked, lavishly. He had a british accent. He was my boyfriend, we had met….where had we met? I shook my head to clear it, and the smell of the food overwhelmed me.

"Is that for me?" I asked casually, "What is the occasion? Outside of getting to see me in nothing but my pajamas?" He set the tray on the side table and climbed up beside me.

"Your promotion," he crawled toward me, leaning me back into my pillows, legs unfolding beneath me. His head leaned down to my ear and neck. "Although, I would prefer to celebrate your lack of clothing before that…" he kissed my neck gently, tongue snaking out to leave a trail down my neck. His hands gripped my shoulders as I hissed when my lower regions warmed to the promise of sex with this man.

_I was in too much shock to be in pain, but the sight of the blood made me gasp and reel. The monster aimed to attack, again, but Alistair was suddenly there to kill the Abomination. Both of my arms were deeply gashed, blood flowing. Alistair whirled around to me, eyes wide with panic. _

"_Kimila-" he sheathed his sword and reached into his pack, as if to get his bandages. _

"_Step aside Alistair," Wynne was suddenly there, I couldn't quite pay attention to either of them as the pain set in. "Hold her up!" Alistair gripped my shoulders tight, but gently. I leaned against him and started to cry as Wynne ripped back my sleeves and examined the gashes. I must have looked very childish, nothing like a Grey Warden, or a hardened fighter. At some point Leliana had given me a health poultice, pouring it down my throat, while Wynne healed the gashes, bandaging them up to keep the sensitive skin protected. _

"_You are ok now, calm down Warden," Wynne said in her calm, grandmotherly voice. I choked and nodded, trying to quiet myself down. "I have to ask," she added with a strange look. I could guess what it was-_

"Kimberly!" Alistair, my boyfriend, was looking at me with a worried face.

"Sorry, I must have had a bad dream last night, you were in it," I laughed as the memory faded. It must have been a dream, since this felt so very real. Alistair had his legs over mine, with a growing erection pressing against my inner thigh through his boxers.

"Was it a dirty dream?" he asked with a growl, kissing my collarbone, my chest, and my breast through my tank. I wasn't wearing a bra and the effect of the light kisses was evident as I moaned lightly and the buds of my nipples came to attention. My hands found their way to his back when he lowered his mouth. He sat up and stared down at me with a smirk. "Off with the clothes," he ordered in his light, teasing voice. I raised an eyebrow. I was fine with the heavy petting, but in my current body…I really felt uncomfortable.

"Ali…" I whined looking away. There was a long pause and his hands slid up under my tank, peeling it off as he fondled me.

"I have always loved your body Kim," he said, gently, lovingly. I allowed him to slide it all the way off. Wow, he really was a dream guy, I was so lucky to have found him. Where was that again? As soon as I tried to remember he was sucking my breast, sliding off his boxers, bringing me back from my thoughts. His hand ran up my thigh and under my short to find my mound, which was hot and beginning to get sensitive. I dragged him back so I could kiss him. He tasted sweet, perfect, almost minty, as our tongued twirled and my shorts were discarded. Regrettably we had to part so he could shift above me. I looked down and saw his very generous member, I shuddered and he rubbed against me. I was quick to get wet and I wanted nothing more then for him to thrust right in and fuck me silly, but he had other things in mind. His fingers entered me gently, his index and middle. As they entered me, fire sprang through my loins causing me to lift slightly to meet him. Feeling bad, I gripped his penis gently and stroked it.

"Kim…" he moaned, quickening the pace of his fingers.

"Alistair…!" I shivered and he stopped his movements, my hand falling. He positioned himself over me and thrust in, leaning forward. I expected pain, I was a virgin last time I checked, right? No…no…we had been dating for a year so we had had sex before-

_They had avoided the awkward explanation of my past and origins with Wynne, and made our way up the floors. Leliana had given me a shit ton of bombs she had made._

"_You need to protect yourself!" she scolded me when Alistair finally let my arms go. He looked pale when he walked away, I felt bad for scaring him. In some odd way I understood his worry, not that he feared for my life- I hadn't been that hurt, but that I was his only real connection to Ostagar, and what he lost. _

"_How do I use these?" I asked, apprehensive to use anything so dangerous. I wasn't the most graceful person, and would hate to drop one and blow everyone up. That being the best case scenario. Leliana rolled her eyes. _

"_Just twist the top and throw, when they hit something they blow, but only if the top is twisted."_

_Thanks to her little gift I managed to keep up with everyone as we made our way through the floors, even managing to kill a few abominations and blood mages. It was a little surreal, killing a person, like I was watching a moving from a theatre, rather then doing it myself. _

_When we opened a door that led to a large Demon, looming over the body of a mage…._

"Stop!" I shoved Alistair off of me, I realized now that it wasn't Alistair, I wasn't at home, and everything that had just happened was a lie. He flew back, as if my strength had been enough to fling him, his eyes were glowing, and everything around us started to melt. The sky was purple over us, and the area around us with like a desert mountain, twisted deformed objects all around. I was dressed in my clothes and my bag of bombs was still there. I caught my breathe as disappointment threatened to bring tears to my eyes, and I looked back toward the fake Alistair. There he stood, but it was a ghoul-like version.

"What's wrong Kim? Was I not…good enough?" his voice was exaggerated, lighter. I stuffed my hand into the bag of bombs, panicked and overwhelmed by the emotions I was feeling. Being attracted to Alistair, and then having fade-sex with an impersonation with him were completely different things. He moved back and forth, like an animal cornering its prey. I twisted one of the bombs in my bag and gripped it.

"You are a monster!" I said, as coldly as possible. I licked my lips, which I found were salty and dry with blood. The bastard had bit me! I lodged the bomb at him before he could catch on, he just stared for a blank second at my face, a grin of triumph, before he was blown apart before my eyes. This was very different then before when I had killed the mages, or when I had seen Alistair or Leliana kill. A roar of justice erupted in my stomach, I couldn't help but give a dark chuckle after everything had cleared and the monster lay dead, looking less like Alistair and more like an abomination. I forced myself to walk forward, past the mess, and further on. I had to find a way out. I remembered the sloth demon, and everyone falling asleep. I knew that my bombs wouldn't protect me from much, I needed to find my comrades fast.

OoOoOoO

There had been some sort of pedestal and I had been transported to another similar area of the fade, where I met Niall, the mage Owain had mentioned to us on a previous floor.

"Another one? But you look different…" he glowered at me suspiciously. I wasn't sure how to respond to him, surely he didn't mean my weight issue. There had to be other…pleasantly plump people in Thedas. "Are you human? You look almost like a demon," he shifted anxiously. I knew he didn't mean my weight, so I touched my face, my hair. Something was indeed off. My skin was smooth, cold to the touch, and my hair was thicker, longer, and soft. When my fingers brushed something hard and angular protruding from both sides of my head, I gasped.

"WHATS ON MY HEAD!" I demanded of him. He jumped, afraid.

"H-horns, like a dragon!" he replied. He pointed to what was a very, very still puddle of water. I raced over to it and looked into the reflection.

It was me, I could recognize the facial features and the eye color, no mistaking my face, but the skin was clear, and tighter, making my face look thinner. My hair was the same blonde/brown color, but thicker and wavier, hanging loose down my shoulders. I suppose I had been to shocked to notice it before. On my head two thick, beautiful, crystal horns, curled up from my hair. I was still, plump, and my body wasn't so much changed as my face and head.

"This…isn't right! I'm human!" I cried, looking to Niall. He looked visibly calmer. As a mage I supposed he could sense the difference between a demon and a human.

"Maybe the fade changed you, although the man who was here before you was obviously human."

"What man? Did he say his name!" I asked, hopeful.

"He said he was a Grey Warden, Alistair. He escaped his trap too," he sighed dejectedly.

"Trap?" I asked. Did he mean what happened with the fake Alistair?

"That's what this is. Sloth traps you in a dream, he knows you and feeds off your desires and fears," he shook his head sadly. " I never thought I would die here, in this place, alone."

"You aren't alone," I replied without thinking. Poor sap had already given up, but if Alistair was here, we had a chance.

"Right. Some random stranger will be my sole companion for the rest of my short, pathetic life."

I rolled my eyes and sat down. All I could do was wait and see if Alistair showed up. Niall moaned despondently, joining me.

This would be a long, long wait.

OoOoOoO

I started getting sick of Niall's depressing attitude, there was a shimmer and another pedestal appeared. Along with it was Alistair, who looked thoroughly harried and tired. He saw us, briefly jumping back to reach for his blade, before recognizing me.

"Are you going to run me through? Id like to know ahead of time if you don't mind," I said dryly.

"Kimila..?" He hesitated, relaxing and walking forward to help me stand.

"Yeah, I'm going for a new look," I smirked, trying desperately to seem at ease as the memory of fake Alistair flashed through my mind. I tried to stomp out the thoughts of his erect length entering me with thoughts of the monsters bloody guts splattered from my bomb.

"I particularly like the horns, very pretty. I'm sure it will be all the rage in Denerim," he chuckled, relieved. "How..?"

" Niall here said that maybe it's just because I am in the Fade."

"Do you think it has something to do with where you are from?" he asked in a hushed voice. I shrugged.

"Have to seen anyone else yet?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I saved both Leliana and Wynne from their Traps, but they disappeared afterward. All I have left is to find Sloth and kill him."

"Sounds easy," I stretched and felt around my bombs. I had quite a few, maybe I would even be some help when Alistair fought him.

"Right, like taking a walk in spring," his voice dripped with sarcasm. I clapped him on the shoulder, giggling, and I noticed he blushed lightly at the contact. This made me wonder what his trap had been, maybe he was back with the Grey Wardens? I needed to remember to ask him about that, his past as a Grey Warden, he probably wanted to talk to someone.

"How do we defeat him then?" I asked him. A demon who could control other demons and the reality of the fade per person, well that surely didn't sound like a walk in spring to me.

"Oh, I have these abilities now, I got them from other dreamers in the fade!" Alistair explained, suddenly excited. He stepped a few feet back and closed his eyes. Before my eyes he transformed into a huge ass stone man. Then a mouse, a man on fire, and an arcane horror-like being. Finally he was himself again.

"Good job Alistair, have fun killing the Sloth, I'm just going to hang out here with Mr. Doom 'n' Gloom!"

"Haha, funny joke," he looked at me suspiciously, "It is a joke right?"

"Uhm, yeah of course," I smiled. It sort of hadn't been, but I couldn't just abandon him. What f he got hurt? He was much to cute for that.

"Follow me," he walked to the pedestal, he grabbed my hand and set it down with his. I didn't have time to be all girly and embarrassed by it, even if it was simply convenient for our hands to overlap on the small pedestal.

It was only my second time using this form of transportation, it didn't effect me quite as strongly as it had before, and I even managed to keep my balance upon landing. There, standing in an opening was sloth as I remembered him, waiting. Smugness radiated off the demon, overwhelming. We walked over to him and he looked ready to say something, his arms raised slightly.

"You!" his voice echoed angrily, watching me.

"Yes…me…." I frowned, confused.

"I will kill you!" He said in his lethargic voice, making no actual move to do so.

"That isn't something I would recommend," I snapped, suddenly. He cowered at my anger, and slid back a few paces.

"Go back to sleep, didn't you like your dream?" he asked us, looking at Alistair.

"I want nothing you have to offer," Alistair replied, I saw him shiver slightly. Suddenly Leliana and Wynne appeared behind us.

"You can not keep us apart demon!" Wynne cried, glancing at me briefly.

"I promise this time will be better," Sloth tried again, sounding only a tad desperate.

"You will die Sloth," I held out my hand, not quite understanding what it was I was doing. " Will you go to the Maker?"

"Face me then, if you dare," he growled, his body transforming. The fight started before I had the chance to collect myself. Fighting him, I was useless. I tried my bombs but they barely scratched him. All I could do was stay out of the way, and I could tell Sloth was avoiding me as well. I was a little anxious for this to be over, even if I was going to be left with only questions. I was the only one of my companions whose body was changed in the Fade [ outside of Alistair's gained abilities which really were not his own], and Sloth seemed to recognize who I was, maybe even what I was. I was beginning to doubt my own humanity. Sloth transformed five times before finally being killed by Alistair.

Niall told us to take the Litany of Adralla off his body, Alistair offered to help save him, but in the end there was nothing we could do for him. Everyone was extremely relieved to be back in the real world out of the fade. My first question was the Alistair,

"The horns?"

"Gone, no worries, you look normal again," he confirmed with a chuckle.

"Thank the Maker, those would be hard to explain on a daily basis!"

" Speaking of explaining…" Wynne's eyes were hard. I shrugged, unable to explain anything.

"We can do that later can't we?" Leliana suggested softly. "Kimila is a good person, and we have your enchanter to save."

Wynne nodded in agreement. I could tell she was reluctant to let the subject drop, mostly from fear of what I could be, but also a little out of curiosity. We made out way past a few dragon baby, things…and a few shades before we could the Templar. He was delirious and wanted us to kill all the Mages, they could be blood mages or abominations in wait.

"I cannot make that sort of decision before seeing what is going on," I explained to him, trying to be as comforting. He preceded to pray that I hadn't doomed them all. Prat. Uldred, well not Uldred but a demon of pride, confronted us and said something about how he could make everyone uber powerful. He left out the whole part about turning into a monster and losing your free will, but I admit the sight of four people who fought their way through hordes of abominations had to be intimidating.

Bombs were much more effective outside of the fade, there was also a sort of satisfaction when abomination guts splattered the floor. Thanks to the multiple talents of my companions, Uldred proved to be more bark then bite. Wynne practically flew to the First Enchanters side after Uldred, as the Pride Demon, fell to Alistair's blade. The First Enchanted was very old and he looked like he had been tossed around pretty good by Uldred since the takeover.

"Are you alright sir?" I asked him when he doubled over.

"Let us go friend, I yearn to be out of this place," he leaned heavily on my shoulder, Wynne at his other side like a worried hen. We trudged through the gore of the circle, having efficiently wiped out any opposition on our way up. It was a silly thing, but I almost resented the fact that the walk down to the templars was shorter then the climb up. Of course Gregoir took the word of the First Enchanter, despite the argument of Cullen. I felt bad for him, but he was obviously disturbed.

"First Enchanter," I cleared my throat. He looked at me with a gentle expression.

"The circle owes you a debt we will never be able to repay."

"Actually, I was wondering something. I know Wynne has already asked to join us, but we are on our way to see Arl Eamon of Redcliffe," he nodded. " I have heard that the Arl is gravely ill and things are not going well. His help is detrimental to the end of the civil war starting, and the safety of Thedas. With the darkspawn I was wondering if you could send a couple of mages to meet us there?"

He chuckled at me and thought for a moment.

"We don't have many mages right now, and I need as many mages as possible to rebuild everything and prepare for fighting the darkspawn. I can send maybe three or four, when I have things settled here I will go myself to help."

OoOooOoO

The camp was still, most of their group had gone to sleep. I sat beside the fire, looking deep within the flames. There was something I just wasnt getting, something alluding me that would explain so much. I recalled the fade, not the steamy moment with fade-fakeboyfriend-Alistair, but the fact I was back home in my apartment. I suddenly really missed my old life, even my job. Tears pricked at my eyes and an overwhelming dispair took over me. This entire things was hopeless, everyone would be better following Alistair and leaving me to be darkspawn food.

"Kimila? Alistair crawled out of his tent, seeing me still awake. His hair was messy, and he looked disoriented.

"Could'nt sleep?" I asked, rubbing my face sleepily.

"Nightmares," he grummbled sitting beside me. We were silent for a while, fire crackling in the chilled night air, while he woke up. He looked over at me, as if surprised to find me there.

"Are you crying!"

"N-no, er," I shruged, " Just…." I left it off, feeling uneasy at confiding in him when I hardly had any right to ask for trust. He must have thought I was some sort of monster. I liked to think as far as friends went, we were close.

"You miss your home?" he suggested gently. I smiled at this small gesture, it was comforting.

"I miss the simplicity of it. I used to gripe about not being someone special, and now that there are mysteries about myself even I can't answer, I miss it."

"I know what you mean," he smiled, his eyes glazed over slightly, "I used to think I was a nobody. A maybe-templer turned into a grey warden. Now I'm the only remaining one in Fereldan teamed up with a mystery woman to defeat a Hero, not to mention the Arch Demon."

I couldn't help but chuckle, Alistair had this way of making everything sound like a big joke. "Do you want to talk about what happened? Ostagar? You lost some important people, and you havent really talked about any of it." The atmosphere took a depressing turn and I automatically felt bad about bringing it up. "I'm sorry, shouldn't have assumed…you don't have to say anything!" I felt my face burn, talking to him made me feel lke a tongue tied fool.

"I know you probably don't want to hear about it," he replied hastily. He looked so sad, like a puppy, a lost one.

"Alistair," I sighed, turning to him. " We are stuck with each other, and we need to depend on each other. You can talk to me about anything because it is important to you." I looked him in the eyes, trying to be as sincere as possible. He smiled softly, his shoulders slumping slightly.

"I suppose I like the way that sounds," he finally admitted. He talked for hours, telling me all about Duncan, his substitute father figure, and all the fun time he had with the Grey Wardens. He was so animated when he talked, taking his attractivness to a whole new level. Alistair really was that gentlemen you always heard about in fairy tales or in those romance novels.

"Sounds like you were just one of the boys," I said during one of hs explainations. For some reason this had a strange effect on him and his face flushed. He continued talking to me, getting more animated as we talked. He blushed and stuttured so cutely. The sun was beginning to rise, and we both were getting tired. Sten would be up, promptly, and if he saw us he would make us start getting ready to move again, so we stood to part ways.

"I almost forgot!" I reached into a pocket and pulled something out. It was a white stone, with gold emblem on it. I remembered hearing Alstair share his facination with mystical relics and items. When I found the rune in the circle near a corpse I thought of him and pocketed it. "Here you go," I handed it to him with a grin. He examined it and smiled broadly.

"For me! Really? Wow….just wow!" He pocket it and gave me a curious sort of look.

"If I find anything else like that I will save it for you," I offered, feeling shy. Alistair nodded and smiled, as if debating to say something, but decided against it. We parted ways to get a few hours of sleep before we traveled to Redcliffe.

( Eeek, sex, yummy. Next Chapter introduces…ZEVRAN! Alistair starts to notice Kimila again, and she developes a little more then a crush for him! And and EXTRA thanks to Criosdan for keeping me on track with the story and feeding my gloriously large ego =] )


	6. A Royal Bastard?

**Chapter 5 Pt 1**

Alistair is an adorable man, with a big heart, and such a friendly face it makes my knees go all jelly-ish. One big failing of his is the way he presents information he feels guilty about.

"Look, can we talk for a moment?" He stopped right at the top of the hill on our way to Redcliffe. "I need to tell you something I should have, um, probably told you earlier."

"That's not foreboding at all! Whats on your mind?" I asked, trying to sound casual. The guilty look on his face made me suspicious.

" I told you how Arl Eamon raised me, right? That my mother was a serving girl in the castle and that he took me in? The reason he did that was because… well because my father was King Maric. Which made Cailan was half brother I suppose…"

"That's certainly not what I was expecting," I let out a sigh of relief. He gave be a queer look, as if I had acted strangely. The thought occurred to me that maybe I had acted strangely in a world like this. It wasn't unusual to be a bastard, let alone the history where royals had bastards regularly, in my world. "So…you are not just a bastard, but a royal bastard?"

" Ha! Yes I guess it does at that. I should use that line more often," he chuckled and gave me a eager look.

" I would have told you, but…"

"It is alright Alistair, you don't need to explain yourself," I smiled setting an hand on his arm without thinking on it. His face flushed slightly.

"I didn't want you to think or treat me differently."

"I think I understand, if it's any condolence, in my world bastards are a very normal thing," I smiled cheekily. "Why did you bring it up now of all times?"

"Well, with the king dead I was worried it would be brought up," he replied with a shrug.

"I suppose I might have been less understanding finding out from a stranger," I admitted, unconsciously sliding my hand down, to give his a reassuring squeeze. This was something I did with my friends and family frequently, since I was a kid. At the moment I hadn't even been thinking anything other then comforting him, but when he gave me this strange, not really unhappy or happy, look, I let go in embarrassment.

"Come on you two, I see someone waiting on the bridge," Wynne was suddenly at my side, nodding ahead.

"Erm right, sorry," I was half speaking to Alistair. As if snapped out of a trance he smiled at me and nodded, awkwardly.

The man waiting was Thomas, a nervous man who was so excited by our appearance I was surprised he didn't pee himself.

"You mean you don't know?" He asked, wide eyed.

"We know the Arl is sick, if that is what you mean ," I smiled, reluctantly.

"He could be dead for all we know!" Thomas went on to explain something evil was amiss, blah blah blah. I was starting to get the feeling that Fereldan was cursed.

"Bann Teagan? The Arls brother?" Alistair cut in.

"I will take you to him!" Thomas exclaimed. Redcliffe was a rather big town, with a winding path from the top of the hill down to the lake. There were abandoned houses, destroyed carts, and battle worn men littering the place. An veil of hopelessness hung in the air. Some of the men watched us, wearily, with a hint of hope, as Thomas led us to the Chantry to meet the Bann. Bann Teagan was older, mid thirties, maybe a tad younger. He was panicking, although he seemed collected. I wasn't too surprised that he and Alistair knew each other, even I had summed up as much when Alistair referred to Bann Teagan as Arl Eamons brother. A ridiculous conversation followed, Teagan asking us to help, Alistair saying it wasn't up to him.

"Of course we are going to help, if we can!" I replied, rolling my eyes upward. "It would only hurt our cause for Redcliffe to fall right?"

"Thank you," Bann Teagan smiled brightly, years falling from his face,

" You should talk to Murdock, the mayor. He is outside trying to organize the men left over." Murdock was, well, surly. I don't think I ever really understood what the word "surly" meant until I met this man.

" Sexist, mean….." I mumbled, after the conversation I had with him.

"He has had problems as if late," Wynne pointed out in her wise old woman way. I hated it when she did that, rationalized behavior that pissed me off.

"I'm sorry, um let's go talk to that blacksmith," I rubbed my eyes, a headache forming. 'I will invent aspirin when this is all over' I thought blandly. A hand fell on my shoulder, thinking it was the ever-observant Wynne noticing my pain.

"I'm fine…" I started, looking over at her. Except it wasn't her, Wynne. It was Alistair. Maybe I didn't give Alistairs own power of observation enough credit. His brow was creased in worry. "Oh," I blinked a few times in surprise.. He quickly removed his hand, so I stared at it when it fell to his side.

"Sorry," was his reply. I realized how I had just royally screwed a moment. A moment? No, of course not, he was just worried. I shook my head, which didn't help the pain at all, and smiled at him.

"I'm fine, just not used to this sort of excitement I think.."He was encouraged by my smile and smiled back, when I turned to keep walking I caught a strange look from Wynne. Maybe she had noticed Alistair and I had been doing a lot of awkward smiling and nodding with each other lately. I had. Owen, the drunk bastard, finally agreed to help Murdock with the armor and weapons. I felt like a total boss when I told Murdock that I had gotten Owen back on his feet. I realized, walking away, how broken Murdock looked, sad, and worn. Old.

"Don't worry Mayor," I encouraged, knowing that for some odd reason the town was watching my little band of misfits for strength. "We CAN do this!" He had the most peculiar look on his face when we walked away to talk to talk to Ser Perth.

"Alrighty," we stopped at the inn/pub thing, Alistair called it a Tavern.

"What is the plan oh fearless leader?" Morrigan asked, a coy little smirk threatening the corners of her mouth. Apparently she found it hilarious that people were just excepting me as the leader, and a Grey warden.

"Well, I think that Alistair, Wynne, and Leliana should stay with me, here, and you, Sten, and Leo should wait in camp, just in case."

"WHAT!" Morrigan was livid. It wasn't like I didn't like her being around, but she lacked a lot of the personality a sane person needed to deal with people. Inevitably we would come face to face with the Arl or other people of importance here in Denerim, and she lacked the…social skills. I wasn't about to tell her THAT though.

"I trust you to protect our things and to make sure if something bad happens to me or Alistair, or both of us, that you will be the, er, best choice to continue on our quest," I lied, badly. Who was she to argue, however? She stewed quietly until they leaved.

"Smooth," Alistair chuckled. "Well, It was kinda true," I grumbled, finally taking a look around. A few militia men were drinking in the corner, the bartender guy, a waitress (wench?), and an elf sitting at a table by himself looking pensive.

"That's a tad off," I couldn't quite place it, but I didn't trust that man. I touched the elbow of the waitress.

"Hello, do you need anything?" she asked with a smile, she was pretty, a red head. I briefly thought of my growing jealousy of the women in Fereldan.

"Do you know who that elf is, in the corner?" I asked.

"His name is Beriwck, says he is waiting for his brother, didn't say much more then that,"

"Thanks, um why aren't you in the Chantry?" I had noticed most everyone not in the militia had been there.

"I will be, tonight, are you fighting?" she asked, with a kind sort of appraisal of my and my group.

"Erm yes."

"Be careful, and thanks," she turned and left. It really hit me how much our help meant to the people here, and I felt guilty I wasn't more confident of our abilities. I then went to Berwick to get the "4-11."

So, apparently Loghain was sending a spy to Redcliffe to see how the Arl was…um doing. Right. Berwick was much to much defensive, even I didn't need Leliana's help to get him to admit his true purpose.. To make up for it, I told him to defend the village. I knew, that technically he expected me to kill him, and I probably could have with my nifty bombs. I just couldn't do it.

"Do you think Loghain had anything to do with the Arls sickness?" I wondered out loud as we left to find Ser Perth.

"It wouldn't be much of a shock if he did," Alistair replied with a bitterness I had not been accustomed to, in his voice. " Well, we have proof he at least knew something was up," I tucked the note Beriwck had handed over into my pack.

"I'm glad you decided to give him a chance to redeem himself," Leliana said cheerfully. I think she took much stock in peoples abilities to redeem themselves.

OoOoOoO

Ser Perth was a very polite man, a knight who definitely took his responsibilities seriously. He even asked what he should call me. I didn't quite feel comfortable with "Grey Warden" so I asked him to call me Kimila. Unfortunately that didn't really stick. Leliana didn't really like it when I got the medals for the knights from the chantry, but I knew that one little lie could change the outcome of the upcoming battle.

"Maker it is getting dark," I found the name of their god slipping off my tongue easier now. I had been in Ferelden for a month? Maybe a little more. Traveling was slow and tedious, due to the lack of cars and trains.

" Should we tell the knights we are ready then?" Wynne asked calmly. I knew she was really asking ME if I were ready. I wanted to say no and run back to camp.

"Before it is too late, yes," I sighed grimly.

"Have faith, Kimila. We will succeed!" Leliana jovially tried to reassure me. Easy for her to say, Miss. I-Have-A-Ranged-Weapon.

"Stay close to one of us if you need to, and use Jareds shield to protect yourself," Alistair took the shield from his back. He had kept it, and I couldn't deny him it. Alistair had explained to me that the sword and shield had been the only items Jared had from him home, which had been taken over by Arl Howe. The story had been heart breaking, and I had never wished more for someone to still be alive. I would not begrudge a man the right to revenge his loved ones.

The Knights were prepared, and Berwick joined us for the initial onslaught. As night came an eerie green mist started to draw closer, originating from the castle. All of the Knights suddenly tensed up. There were screams and noises from below, in the village, as people ran to the chantry or to their places. The mist settled around us, and out of it came the first of these monsters. They were skeletons, not zombies, all the flesh was gone. There was no plausible reason for them to be able to walk, but they came flying in, weapons raised. I was terrified. Stuck, standing there with my feet unyielding.

I had faced down darkspawn, demons, and humans. It was fighting these skeletons being, the bodies of people who had once been alive, that scared me. All at once I realized how weak I really was, how lost I was. I watched as Alistair took them on, head first, bravery practically oozing from his body. Wynne threw her spells around, whipping a mix of offensive and defensive spells. Leliana was shooting arrows faster then I could count. The Knights, even Berwick, betrayed no fear. I was the only once who could not find the strength.

"Warden!" Perth called out, while in what seemed to be slow motion he crushed the skull of one of he skeletons under his foot. He was warning me of a fresh swarm of the creatures. I managed to find a couple of the combustion bombs Leliana made before the battle, but I fumbled to get them out of my pack, Jared's shield getting in the way.

"Kimila!" Alistair was in front of me as a blade came flying down. It hit his shield with a loud clang. In a flurry of movement the skeleton was down.

"I'm sorry-" I started, finally getting the bombs out. Alistair ignored me, though whether it was on purpose or just due to the battle, I don't know. He stayed in front of me, like a wall. The battle seemed to be never ending. They came in hordes, and took forever to die. Whatever magic was keeping them alive and moving, also made them stronger then any man. Finally, after two knights had fallen, and my companions had received extensive damage, the hordes stopped. At least on the hill.. Wynne quickly healed Alistair and Leliana, and as soon as she was done a militia man came running from the village basin.

"Hurry!" he called. The creatures were attacking the village.

"K-knights, stay here!" I called, following the militia man and my companions. It was a nightmare. There were more of the skeletons, and they never stopped. Men fell around me, even as I desperately tried to use my bombs to thin them out. I couldn't keep track of where everyone was, and I was close to being over taken myself. Then, out of nowhere, a blast of fire fell onto the creatures. It wasn't Wynne, that wasn't her magical forte. I looked over and saw five mages swooping down onto the battle field. I recalled the conversation I had had with the first enchanter before my companions and I had left the Circle. He had been true to his words and sent mages to assist us at Redcliffe castle. In the end we lost Murdock and most of the militia men, plus a mage. The only two that survived were Thomas and the man who had called us down from the hill. I somehow stumbled upon Murdocks body when the fight was dieing down. I fell to my knees beside him and tears started to form in my eyes. I pressed a hand to my mouth to keep myself from crying out. His eyes were open, staring at me accusingly. They were telling me,

"If only you were an actual warden"

"You froze up and costs me my life"

"I was killed because of your weakness."

"I'm sorry!" I gasped, grabbing his gauntlet and squeezing it to my chest. "I'm so sorry, I should have been stronger…." I couldn't stop myself from crying. I didn't cry this often in my world, even as a child, but I had never experienced such gruesome realness. Movies, TV shows, books…they never truthfully explained the harshness of real-life death, responsibility. Alistair was beside me, tugging at me to let go of Murdock. I didn't relent, crying. "It's all my fault!" I yelled at him. He didn't say anything, his mouth set, but his eyes full of pity. He finally pulled me away, standing me up, and holding me to him. "I should have been better, I will get everyone killed! Alistair!" I sobbed. He remained silent, irritatily silent. He didn't loosen his grip for what seemed to be ages, until my tears had subsided and my head throbbed. I felt worn, tired, and done.

What happened between then and morning was a blur. The dead were cleared and the sun began to rise. Bann Teagan led my companions, me, and the mages to a place to rest in the chantry. We were able to sleep for only a few hours. The next day everyone left from the night, the children, women, the men, looked at me with praise, and thanks for allowing them to have survived the night.

If only they had known…known my own blame in the deaths of their beloved Mayor and militia. My companions and I didn't really get much of a chance to talk between then, meeting Isolde (whom I immediately didn't like), fighting our way through the Arl's castle, releasing Jowan, the mage responsible for poisoning the Arl, and finding out that the Arl's son had become an abomination. Thanks to Wynne, because I wasn't much help at all in my numb state of mind, we would find the First Enchanter and send Wynne into the fade to save Connor.

It wasn't until we stopped at camp between Redcliffe and the Circle that I was forced to talk to anyone.

[I know I promised Zevran, but this was a long longer then I thought it would be, I didn't remember how much happened between arriving at Redcliffe and saving Conner. I felt like this was rushed Dx, but I haven't been able to write, and this was late. Plus this FF is supposed to span through DA2 or further!]{ Special cheers to my beta Criosdan =D hip hip HURRAY! x3}


	7. Will You Miss it When it's Over?

Chapter 5 pt 2

It was taking a while for the mages to meet us, we camped outside of Redcliffe. I hadn't left my tent, leaving Alistair, Wynne, Sten, Morrigan, and Leliana to watch out. Leo sat diligently outside of my tent, having become considerably more protective of me when I had returned. Leo's old master was gone and it crushed the poor mabari, but he seemed to have found comfort in being around me. I wouldn't let him in the tent though; I wouldn't let anyone near me. It was late, dark outside, and I could just barely see the hint of a fire set aglow my tent. My eyes were throbbing from crying, but I had finally stopped.

I could not get the image of Murdock out of my head, and the other militia men who had died. I truly felt at fault for their deaths. My entire life had been about getting an education, a job, a husband, kids, and later retiring into blissful ignorance. Now, for maybe the first time in a long time, I felt truly helpless. When I had first arrived in Thedas I had been oddly un-skeptical of everything, maybe it was because I was a dreamer, but until now nothing had really felt real. The fade, the names of the old gods, the darkspawn, demons, even my companions; none of these had been a real wake-up call like what had happened at Redcliffe.

I was on my "bed," which was really just a thin bedroll that barely kept me warm. I had immediately discarded my bloodied (not my blood) armor, and only wore a white shirt and breeches that we had picked up in Redcliffe before the battle. I heard a russling, and then Alistair's voice accompanied by a deep growl from Leo.

"If you let me in, I will give you my stew later," Alistair notified the food-driven dog. I listened closely to hear Leo turn him away. Leo didn't seem to budge. "I know you are protecting her, but what if she really needs someone to help her? You don't want to hurt her do you?" Leo whined plaintively, but I heard him leave. Benedict Arnold.

"Kimila?" Alistair poked his head in, spotting me curled on my side, facing away from him. "Are you awake?"

"If you are going to come in, just come in," I replied softly. The tent wasn't very large, and with my leather armor in the corner, he could just barely manage to squeeze in beside me. He sat, but didn't speak. He was watching me, I could feel his eyes on my face.

"You've been crying." he wasn't asking but stating a fact. I didn't even bother to reply.

"Do you keep me around only because of Flemeth?" I had to ask. It obviously wasn't for my usefulness in battle.

He practically choked when he exclaimed, "What!" I finally sat up and faced him.

"It's obvious I am useless as a companion, I'm not even-" I hushed my voice, " I'm not even a Grey Warden!"

"That's hardly a necessity for a hero," he pointed out.

"Don't you see though? It's my fault, I should have never played along. People started depending on me, and what can I do? Nothing!" I couldn't help it as tears welled in my eyes and my voice grew bitter. In one swift movement his arms grabbed me in a hug.

"That is ridiculous!" his voice was pained. I was too stunned to move, but I felt fresh tears well in my eyes. "When all of my friends died you were there to comfort me and help me, you saved the mages in the circle, and helped an entire village survive when they had given up! None of our companions would agree to anything you said."

"People die because I am so weak, useless!" I argued into his shoulder. Alistair stroked the back of my head, silently. He made sense, even though I depended heavily on him and my other companions to achieve most of what we had done, and probably what we would do. Minutes later my tears had subsided, and he had let me go – it probably dawned on him that it was a rather intimate position. "What am I going to do Alistair?"

"Leave fighting to us, and work hard. You are special Kimila, not just because you are a spirit from another world," he grinned.

" Oh, is that the only reasons I am special?" I managed a smirk. His face flushed slightly.

"Er, you know it's not," he muttered. "I have a question, actually…"

"Yes?"

"So all this time we've been together…you know, the tragedy, the brushes with death, the constant battle with the whole Blight over us…will you miss it once it's over?"

I knew he didn't really mean that, his dry sense of humor was endearing, but I knew what he really meant. "Miss the constant battles? Or miss you?"

"I know it… might sound strange, considering we haven't known each other for very long, but I've come to…care for you. A great deal," his voice was gentle, awkward, but it made my hear leap. Was he saying what I thought he was? "I think maybe it's because we've gone through so much together. I don't know. Or maybe I am imagining it. Maybe I am fooling myself." He paused, maybe to catch his breath; I know I was holding mine.

"Am I? Fooling myself? Or do you think you might ever… feel the same way about me?" he looked relieved to finally say it, rushing his last words.

"I think…oh.." I found my cheeks burning, and not from my previous grief. "I mean, I think I do!" Ever since what had happened in the Fade, and everything that was happening, I had been oblivious to the fact I constantly got light headed around him, my stomach twisted in knots, and I hated not having him around.

"So, fooled you did I? Good to know…" He was suddenly leaning in towards me, his hand reaching up, his rough calloused fingers touching my cheek. I gave way, and we kissed. It was so gentle, both of us so unsure of everything going on, but there was this; this one thing to keep us sane. I don't know when, but I had fallen head over heels for this man. Finally we parted and he looked at me, eyes shining and whispered, "That…that wasn't too soon, was it?"

"I don't know, I need more testing to be sure," I bit my lip mischievously. I wasn't anywhere close to being over my grief for the death of the men of Redcliffe, but it was a start. I knew things were going to just get harder, but there had to be a way for me to do something more useful then be a figure head for our cause.

"Well, I'll have to arrange that then, wont I?" his eye brow rose comically and he smiled.

"Why me? Alistair, you said you've never gotten the chance to be with a woman in anyway, so why me?" I wasn't perfect, I knew that, I wasn't model-like, like Leliana, or sexy like Morrigan, I was shorter, rounder, not particularly stunning in anyway.

"Haven't we been over this? You are beautiful, smart, ravishingly…and all the other things you would hurt me for not saying," he replied lightly.

I swatted his arm, "You know what I meant, and I would never hurt you." His hand took mine, and he looked at me with a serious face.

"Nor I you…"

I knew what he was really saying; there were no reasons for falling for someone, to care for them. He liked me, all that was me, and I him. Why did he need to give a reason, when there was none? I hugged him tightly, and I did not feel like letting go.

"I don't know what is going to happen, with the Blight, Loghain, the dwarves, elves, or even what I am. I just know that I have to be strong, and I don't think I could do that without you- thank you Alistair." I could feel his chuckles vibrate in his chest as his arms engulfed my shoulders. I may not have been the tiniest girl, but I had never realized how broad shouldered Alistair was, how large his arms were.

"I-" he started to say something.

"If you two are in there any longer, we will eat dinner without you," It was Morrigan, her voice all haughty.

"What's for dinner?" I asked, letting go and straightening up.

"Stew, I made it," he grinned. Maker help us all.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

" First Enchanter? I didn't think you would actually come yourself," I smiled at the old man as warmly as I could muster. His face was much less weary looking, although his eyes were slightly duller then the last time I had seen him.

"I am sorry I had to send some of my group ahead of me, I hope they proved useful?" the old mages eyes crinkled, knowingly.

"Yes, they helped us get out of a tight spot, but…" I hesitated, the day before blurring in my memory, " It seems that the son of the Arl is possessed by a demon, and we need to free him."

"We must go at once-, we cannot allow a poor soul to be used like that."

"Please, let's go to the castle then, they are waiting for us," Alistair was eager to get moving. Since the night before he had been acting with a sort of new-found excitement, I found it endearing. We rushed, at a speed I might have thought impossible for the old mage and his journeyed-out companions. I brought Wynne, Alistair, and Leo with the mages. I wasn't sure how it would turn out, but I hoped we would not have to kill a child.

OoOooOoooOOooOoOo

Wynne was lying on the floor, breathing shallowly. The mages stood around her with lyrium in their hands. Their eyes were closed and they were sending out waves of magic, waiting for her to return. There was a thrumming in my chest that was starting to get uncomfortable. No one else seemed effected by the magic, so I snuck out to the hall. It was a dark corridor with suits of armor lining the walls.

"That's not spooky at all, they look like they can see me," talking seemed like a bad way to not be scared. I could see a candle light coming through from a room at the end of the hall and bolted for it. Closing the door behind me, I noticed that the room was a study. I wasn't normally the type to snoop, but the urge was just too strong. The desk was made of a light colored wood, and was lacquered to a shine. I ran my fingers over it while I sat down. There was a box on the table, made out of a dark stone and metal, that caught my eye. It was slightly open, unlocked as though it had been about to be opened or closed. My eyes scanned the room, even though I knew there wasn't going to be anyone around. The box held a number of things, mostly money and jewelry. Something in particular caught my eye. It was a silver medallion with a strange, yet familiar, symbol. I picked it up gently, as it was riddled with cracks- as if someone had broken it and put it back together. Something clicked…. Alistair had once told me of the time Arl Eamon had sent him away, and Alistair had been so upset he had thrown the amulet that had been his mother's at the wall. Had the Arl put it back together? I leaned back in the chair, pocketing the necklace and closing the box. How would this make Alistair feel?

"Wynne is back…" Alistair was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and eyebrow quirked.

"Eh? Oh. That's good, that's good right?" I asked, jumping from the seat. My arms were all crawly and my heart was still thrumming erratically.

"I think so, are you alright?" he noticed I had started fingering my pocket.

"Come here," I pulled out the necklace. He strode over and took it from my hand, his eyes going from confused to shock.

"Is this my mother's? I thought I had broken it…shattered against a wall."

"Apparently Arl Eamon repaired it," I smiled encouragingly at him. "Maybe you mean more to him then you thought."

"I thought I had lost this to my own stupidity…I will have to talk to him if…when he recovers," his eyes were moist. He looked at me and put the necklace in his own pocket. "Did you remember me mentioning it?" I nodded. "Wow, huh. I'm more used to people not really listening when I go on about these things."

"Of course I remembered, you are…special to me," my face was on fire. I wasn't really one for awkward romantic moments. When I used to watch romantic comedies with my roommate, I always had to look away when things like this happened.

"Is this the part where the music starts and we begin dancing? Because I'm game," he laughed coming close to me.

"Where are the minstrels?" I asked dryly. He chuckled, setting his hands on my shoulders. His brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

"You feel like lyrium," he replied, his rough fingers touching my neck. I cringed and looked away from him.

"I don't like that stuff, it scares me and makes me feel like my skin is going to fly off and my hearts going to implode." Alistair pulled me in and kissed my forehead gently. "I'm not normal Alistair….."

"Oh, well I knew that already," he chuckled irritatingly. I swatted his arm lightly and hugged him. "We'll keep you away from Lyrium for a while. Teagan wants to see us."

"Do we have to? Isolde will probably be there," I groaned. We parted and he clapped me on the back.

"It will be fine, we did just save her son."

OooOooOooOooO

(I know these are getting shorter…but who knows what will happen? So. PROMISE. Next chapter: Zevran and SMEXY stuff)( I couldn't get ahold of my Beta for some reason, CRIOSDAN I NEED YOU T.T)


	8. Naked in the Gauntlet?

( Special thanks to Criosdan, my beta~ I would be doomed without you there to catch my writing mistakes. Plus the motivational parts xD

And thanks to you guys who favorite this fanfiction and comment, makes my day when I get those!)

Chapter 6

Conner was safe and sound, but we had another quest to set out on. If we were going to cure the Arl we needed to find Andraste's Ashes. The only information anyone could give us was that a scholar in Denerim named Brother Genitivi might have information. So we set out to Denerim which was at least a two day trek. In camp I could feel the energy was low, and everyone was getting irritated.

"Why don't we, when we get to Denerim, stay a day to get supplies and some rest before we head out?" I suggested to them on our second night. Their reactions were about what I expected; Morrigan and Sten were not happy to spend time in the city, Leliana was thrilled to think about getting a bath, Alistair was anxious to save the Arl, and Leo just kind of drooled and barked at me with a stupid doggy grin. In the end they all agreed to it because our lack of supplies.

"It will only be for a day, no more than two," I reassured Alistair that night, as we sat in front of the fire. Leliana cooked that night so everyone was happily fed.

"I don't know if this is a good time to mention this, but do you think we might be able to find someone while we are there?" he asked me quietly, like a secret.

"You have a friend outside of the Grey Wardens?"

"Well, not a friend, actually, it is my sister. I received some information and I tracked her down to a house in Denerim. I was, uh, hoping we could stop and see if she is there," his face was red with excitement.

"Of course we will! This is amazing!" I knew that he had been alone for so long, and didn't know anything about his mother except that she was a maid in the Palace. This would be great for him…if all went well.

OoooOoooOoooO

"The Warden dies here!" a tan elf with a Spanish ( or Italian) sounding accent shouted fiercely, as a swarm of assassins and bandits fell on us. He just caught us on a really bad day. We were so close to Denerim we could feel the hot bath water and smell the fresh food. An interruption was welcomed with a solid thrashing. I even managed to get a few bombs in the cliffs to take care of those pesky archers. In the end, the elf lay at my feet, not dead but worse for wear.

"Should we wake him up and question him?" Alistair asked, although he didn't sound like he particularly liked that course of action.

"Probably, he may have been hired by Loghain," I replied, squatting beside the assassin. He was an elf, and really handsome. Not the "celebrity" type handsome, but the exotic dancer type.

"I expected to be dead by now," he mused in his thick accent. I tried my hardest to stifle a laugh.

"I want to ask some questions," I replied. His eyebrow raised and he rose up.

"Ah, interrogation is it? Well, let me save you some time. My name is Zevran, or Zev as some friends like to call me. I was hired by a rather taciturn fellow name Loghain to kill the Grey Warden, you as it seems to be."

"Why are you telling us this?" It didn't seem like the prudent thing for a hired mercenary or assassin to do.

"I wasn't paid for my silence," he shrugged. "If you are done asking questions, I have one of my own if you don't mind..." I nodded at him, hesitating only momentarily because of the sharp intake of breath from Alistair who stood behind me.

"Now that you have me here, I was wondering what you planned on doing with me?"

"That…is a good questioned. Do you have any opinions in that matter?"

"I failed to kill you, and if I return to the Crows they will kill me. Since you are the one with my fate in your hands it is up to you I suppose, what is done with me," he responded hastily.

"Maybe it would be a good idea for you to travel with me and my friends?" I caught on to what his implications were. I was skeptical, not at his usefulness, but at his loyalty.

"What? Now we are taking the assassin with us? Are you sure about this?" Alistair exclaimed, looking at me with confusion.

"He could be useful, not to mention quite a shock to Loghain is he ever finds out. I think we can handle him if he shows to be…un-trustful," I appeased eagerly, not wanted to make Alistair angry with me. Then again, he was one of the ones to put me in charge, so he really had no right to argue with me.

"True, but ever if there were a sign we are desperate, this is it!" he grumbled, crossing his arms. I rolled my eyes at him and helped Zevran up.

"We need to watch our food more closely from now on," Morrigan mused darkly. I had a nagging feeling she did that sort of thing already.

"That is a good practice for anytime my dear," he replied cheerfully, causing Morrigan to grin wickedly.

"On to Denerim then," I waved my hands, "We have some business to take care of."

OoooOoooOoooOooooO

Denerim was an amazing site, with people running all around, shouting their stores prices and wares. I was pretty overwhelmed by it all, which was strange because I had begun to think that nothing could overwhelm me anymore. Alistair quickly found the home he thought to be his sisters.

"Let's go then,'" I urged him forward as he tried to stall. We entered, knocking first of course, but the house was sort of a letdown. I could feel Alistair's heart fall when he saw the inside for what was really a hovel, covered in clothes.

"H-hello?" he managed. There was a thump and some rustling. A woman stated shouting something about prices for cleaning linen and clothing as she came out from the back. She had flame red hair that was messy and dirty, like the rest of her. Everywhere that we had traveled so far had not been good indications of poverty in Fereldan, so Goldanna was really surprising. In the back of my mind I had wondered how the elves lived, if a human was brought to this condition.

"No, we aren't here for that…Um, well. I am your brother actually," Alistair was shaking from nerves, so I gripped his hand. The woman exclaimed, but not in joy as I had expected, but in bitterness. Apparently she had been turned away after her mother's death with some gold. I felt bad for her, but she was accusing him of being at fault!

"That isn't his fault!" I exclaim, unable to contain myself. She was being very ridiculous.

"And whose this, some tart after your riches?" she sneered at me. If hadn't been holding his hand, Alistair my not have been able to hold me back from strangling her.

"Don't! She is my friend, and a Grey Warden, like me," he replied, keeping his voice controlled. I admired him for that. The goofball that he was, when the going got tough he managed to keep calm.

"A Prince and a Grey Warden, eh? W-" I cut her off,

"We should go. There is nothing of any good here for you Alistair," I tugged on his hand.

"I think you're right," he replied, nodding stiffly to the harpy and leaving as I pulled him along. Once we got back out into the city where Zevran and Leliana waited for us, Alistair turned to me with sad eyes.

"I guess that's not exactly how you expected it to go," I tried to smiled, but couldn't.

"I think I expected her to welcome me with open arms…not this" he waved his hands broadly.

"People are selfish Alistair. I'm sorry. Most only think about themselves, maybe that's something that this has shown you. I don't know…." I cursed myself for poorly stumbling over my words. I didn't want to break his optimism for the world, but I wanted to tell him to be more careful with himself and his emotions.

"I don't really feel like talking right now," he frowned, avoiding my gaze, and walked off to look at a stall.

"I am guessing things didn't go so well," Zevran was beside me.

"Oh, no it went perfectly. Can't you see both of us are so incredibly happy?" I rolled my eyes to the sky. Zevran chuckled and patted my shoulder. I looked, angrily probably, at the lithe elf.

"Don't look at me like that," he clucked his tongue cheerfully, "Shouldn't we be going to find this Brother Genitivi of yours?"

"Let's get a couple of rooms and an Inn and take baths first," I replied wistfully.

OooOooOooOoooOooOooO

So, come to find out Genitivis apprentice, Weylon, was killed by a cult member from some remote little town that was dedicated to worshiping a large Dragon who they believed to be Andraste incarnate. They did everything, strange chants, blood sacrifice, dragon breeding….the only thing they were missing was,

"Why have you come here, why have you killed our young?" an angry man with an intimidating aura demanded of us.

"Cue crazy berserker," I mumbled to Zevran who merely smiled back.

"You have killed people, you must be stopped," I replied to the man.

"To arms!" he screeched and a battle ensued. We fought hard, Alistair, Zevran, Wynne, and I. Wynne was very good at healing magic, and protected spells. Alistair and Zevran worked hand to hand, and every now and then there was a place for me to throw some bombs. Leliana was such a fiend with making them for me, every time I threw one I was surprised by the result. Alistair was more cheerful now, but that was probably only because we were close to getting the Ashes to save Eamon.

"Is there nothing else you can do Warden? That last one came fairly close to blowing me up," Zevran winced, imaging if I had only thrown the last little grenade a few inches to the left.

"That's…I never actually hit you guys!" I replied haughtily.

"She's much better now than a couple of months ago," Alistair agreed, stifling laughs. As much as he had complained about Zevran, they had gotten along better as time went on.

"When we get to camp I am going to teach you how to use a dagger, just in case," Zevran shook his head. The idea was appealing to me, but a green color flooded Alistair's face. I love the confidence he has in me, I thought crossly.

"Let's keep going," I muttered, walking to an opening from the cave. Something about being underground for long periods of time was unsettling. As we had been getting closer, I had begun to feel strange, my skin was icy, and my heart beat was quickened. Once we were out a load roar took the air and we jumped to hide as a huge dragon swooped over us and landed up on the mountain side.

"What? That's what they thought Andraste reincarnated as?" Alistair hissed as soon as it became safe for us.

"Well, it's not like dragons like that are roaming around all over Thedas," Wynne replied. I barely heard them because I was focused on the dragon. The strange feelings that had been building up were beginning to overflow. The others thought the dragon was asleep up on its mountain spot, but I knew that it wasn't. It was watching us, me actually. Things slowed down around me, my friend's movements were sluggish, and the wind had stopped.

_What are you doing here,_ _Eiryn? _The voice was neither masculine nor feminine.

"What-who are you?" I asked, aloud, but my voice echoed strangely.

_I am the protector of this mountain, but that does not answer my question._ The dragon jumped from its perched and glided down to the ground. Where just roaring had shaken the foundations of the ruins they stood on, nothing moved.

"We come for the ashes…" I replied, walking away from my friends and towards the dragon. "You call me Eiryn, but I am not the old god from the legends."

_Why do you think that? I can smell it in you, feel it. The power of the old gods, my ancestors. _

"Ancestors?"

_Dragons come from the old gods, before man. When man rose, and the old gods rebelled, we fled. We are back because things are changing. They have been for a very long time. Your bother is killing the earth, will you stop him?_

"Brother? The Arch-demon you mean?"

_He was once the god Urthemial. He has been corrupted because of what happened long ago….._ The dragon looked strangely wistful.

"You mean when the mages entered the Golden City?"

_Yes, indeed. Stop him, and stop your sister. She comes to kill you, for power. Her motives are unclear. You have power that will come to you if you try…_

"What? I don-" A hand landed on my shoulder, causing me to jump and look behind me. It was Alistair and he looked confused.

"Are you alright Kimila?" he asked gently, worried. I turned back to the Dragon, but it wasn't there anymore. It was still perched on the mountain. "You just walked down here and stared into the sky…has something happened?"

"But….the dragon!" I shook my head. I knew what had happened was real because I could still feel it, but my companions looked at me like I had grown a second head or something. So, I shook my head and smiled dumbly. "Guess I didn't do so well in those caves. Let's keep going!" They didn't argue with me, but Alistair stayed much closer to my side then before. We entered the ruins of a temple and came upon a man who wasn't quite…there. Not a ghost or spirit, but not a human by any means. What I thought of when I saw him was the knight who protected the Holy Grail in the Indiana Jones film. He questioned us, informed up about the tests we would have to take to get to the ashes. He looked over me, but did not question me as he had the others. Then there were the riddles, which were either painstakingly hard or ridiculously easy. Thankfully Wynne was there, and her years of knowledge and innate wisdom helped us solve them efficiently. Once we were finished, we came upon a spirit person. I didn't recognize the person at first, but Alistair's reaction triggered something. It was Jared Cousland, the Grey Warden who had died in the tower of Ishal.

"You aren't real, right?" I asked, hoping, just a little, that he was.

"Who knows? I feel and have the memories of the youngest Cousland…" he laughed, cheerfully.

"I am sorry that you died…I wish Flemeth could have saved both of you," I replied dolefully.

"She should have saved you instead of me," Alistair added pain shrouding his face. I unconsciously grabbed his hand. The fade of Jarred raised an eyebrow and smiled at us.

"Don't be ridiculous. You need to let me go, and Duncan Alistair. Your cause is strong, here take this to help you fight and bring justice to me and my family," he handed me a necklace and faded away.

"We need to keep moving, this place is unsettling," Zevran said after we remained silent and rooted in place for many minutes. We continued, fighting invisible ghost-like replicas of ourselves. Mine was probably dubiously easy to get rid of. They even let me do it myself. Then there was a pathway that involved, me as the leader, walking on a path my comrades made by stepping on certain stones. In the end it was Zevran who figured it all out. I was relieved when we entered the room that held the ashes. Well, I was until I read the inscription on the altar in front of a wall of flames.

"I think that means we have to be naked to cross," Zevran said, coyly, watching as I shared a glance with Wynne.

"If that's the case, why don't you go first, only one of us needs get to the ashes," I replied in my most even voice.

"Are you trying to see me naked my dear Warden?" I really wished he wouldn't call me that.

"Ew, no. Never mind," I faked a shiver of disgust. No woman alive would deny wanting to see him naked, but, well, Alistair was there.

"Men turn around; our fearless leader will do it for us," Wynne placated with a smile.

"Fine, but no one can look!" I exclaimed hotly.

"Our fearless leader is blushing," Zevran pointed out with a stubborn shake of his head, before turning. Alistair gave me an awkward smile, and turned his back. Wynne helped me take off the leather armor Leliana had made me wear and then she turned around too. As soon as I had stripped all the way down I took a deep breath and walked to the flame. It was hot, as fire tends to be, and the flames flickered violently as I approached.

"Are we sure about this?" I called over my shoulder.

"Worst case scenario? Not really," Alistair replied, causing me to turn around and make sure they weren't looking. They were keeping their promise, though I noticed Wynne had a tight hand on Zevran's shoulder.

"Alright, I will tell you guys when I have made it through." I walked, slowly through the flame, one foot after the other. It was hot, but not painful. My skin didn't burn, and instead felt comfortably heated, like an electric blanket would in the winter. It was overall a pleasant experience. Once I was through the flames disappeared and the Guardian appeared.

"You have gone through the Gauntlet of Trials, and have passed. You may now take a pinch of the ashes for yourself." He was gone as fast as he came. I rushed over and started getting dressed, but noticed something strange. The day that I had died I had been wearing work clothes, nylons for the boots, so I had had to shave my legs and do the necessary beauty things that I loathed. I had been in Thedas for months and the hair had not grown back. Actually, none of my hair had grown. Did it have something to do with being brought here, or what the Dragon had said? Was I really the reincarnation or resurrection of an old god? Why did my skin still get affected by the weather then? Or why did my nails break and grow and my body gain muscle?

"Warden, are you dressed yet? I wouldn't mind getting back to camp for something to eat…" Zevran mused. I looked up to see them still standing with their backs to me. I hurried up and got dressed. Thinking about all those things, on top of everything I was already dealing with, would do nothing but cause me to panic, so I needed to push it all into the back of my mind.

"Yeah, I am ready," I collected my armor and put it into my bag. I didn't need it at the moment. We walked up to the urn of Andraste, Alistair and Wynne were in awe, but Zev and I were skeptical. Would all of our effort be for nothing? I opened a leather pouch that Isolde had given up to collect the ashes in, and took a large pinch of the ashes and placed it within.

"We should hurry to Redcliffe in the morning, we still have a lot to do," I sighed, putting the pouch in my bag.

"Well, that was anti-climactic wasn't it?" Alistair asked sarcastically, causing all of us to laugh. We would need to hold on to that laughter with what laid ahead of us.

( I know…it has been forever since I updated last~ But I hope this was worth the wait! Next chapter I am going to center a little more on SEXY stuff and the strange things that are happening to Kimila. I won't spend a lot of time on the Dalish or in the Deep Roads. Think of every chapter where I skip around being months apart. I really want to get to the end of origins and into Awakening and 2~ I have lots of plans :D )

( Oh… Yay Zevran! I hope I will do a good job capturing his character. This is my first time writing with him!)


	9. In The Camp? Doesn't Matter, Had Sex

Chapter 7

(Haven't done this in a long time so….. Thanks to all of the people who favorite this story and leave reviews! I love it! I have had a lot of bad things happening lately and writing is one of the few pleasures I have left. Special thanks to my beta and friend Criosdan!

Bioware owns all…..sigh.)

(Mature content warning ;D)

I let out another howl of pain as Wynne gingerly touched the bloody bite marks on my side.

"Don't be such a baby Warden," Zevran snickered, watching from a distance. The damned elf never seemed to get wounded in battle. My glowering didn't do anything to stop his jesting, especially at Alistair. We had just finished taking care of the Dalish elves and their little wolf problem. Through the excitement I had failed to notice a slightly bite on my side until the adrenaline had run out and I found myself practically caked in blood. Alistairs reaction had been far worse than mine.

"Maker, help me!" Wynne cried when Zevran and a newly acquired addition to our group, a golem by the name of Shale, had us both in tow unconscious. Zevran had knocked me out when I started screaming, but Alistair had fainted upon lifting the side of my shirt and seeing the wound.

"It squeals like one unaccustomed to fighting," Shale observed in her (his?) stoic voice. "And this one," she looked at Alistair who was groggily starting to wake up, "His behaviors were oddly entertaining." Leliana handed Alistair a small drink of water when he became more aware.

"Is she ok?" he managed. I barked out a painful laugh as Wynne decided she would have to use magic as well as a health poultice. He turned to look at me but his face immediately paled and Leliana turned him away. I knew I worried him because of my lack of…well anything useful in battle. Although, thanks to Zevran, the dagger I now wore at my waiste was much more useful. Things had changed in the last couple of months. With Eamon healed and only one more contract left, our group was more on edge. Especially Alistair. Eamon wanted him so desperately to be the next Kind of Fereldan. He had no approved at Alistairs defiance, but something about him caused a strange sort of obedience.

I had also changed. Everyone was beginning to notice, and before long I would have to explain to everyone what little data I had gathered. While I still looked like me, there were less than subtle differences. My skin was paler, my eyes lighter, and my hair shinier. Instead of ignoring me, Darkspawn had become outright afraid of my presence. My sensitivity to lyrium, while not crippling, was powerful.

I had noticed other strange things happening in battle as well. We had come across an entire field of Darkspawn while only four of us traveled from camp to an old battlefield where people thought survivors might be. They were too much for Alistair or Zevran to protect me so I had been forced to hold my own. The Darkspawn at large avoided me, but am Emissary saw me alone and took a chance. It flung magic at me that Wynne barely had enough time to put an arcane shield over me. The Emissary sent something at me while Wynne's back was turned, so my first reaction was to life my arm up to defend my face. I hadn't expected it to work, but when I felt nothing from the spell I looked up and saw a shimmering shield-like barrier take the spell and dissipate it. The Emissary certainly had not expected that to happen and didn't noticed at Alistair brought it down from behind. The only I had told about it was Alistair.

I would tell everyone the truth as soon as I could work it out myself. For now I took their curious stares as a friend should; I ignored them. Wynne's magic healed my side, but it was still very tender to the touch and I probably wouldn't be doing any sit ups anytime soon.

"Can we talk?" Morrigan appeared out of nowhere as our group trickled away to do our own things.

"Of course," I replied, not without apprehension. Morrigan wasn't a bad person but I didn't normally enjoy the conversations we had. Especially not when she instigated it.

"We are…friends right? You brought me that Grimoire from the tower because you thought of me as such?"

"Of course," I repeated with slightly more curiosity.

"I have found out how Flemeth extends her unnatural lifespan." Her voice was calm.

"Don't tell me she sacrifices babies and drinks the blood of children," was my half0hearted attempt to joke. Anything involving Flemeth sent chills up my spine.

"You are not far off," she smirked. "She raised daughters and when they become strong enough she takes over their bodies."

"So you….?"

"I will surely be taken over if I ever go back." I let out a long breath, thinking about it.

"You want me to? Kill her?" I had to ask although by the grim look she gave me she did.

"It would not be easy of me to ask this of anyone other than you. I cannot go with you, but know If you do this…" she hesitated and I shook my head.

"I needed to talk to her anyway."

OoooOooOoOooOoooO

Flemeths hut was exactly as I remembered it. Apparently the Darkspawn and avoided it, but it didn't really matter as the hut had always looked on its last leg. I was nervous because of the stories told to me about the Flemeth of legend. Something inside of me told me that they were all true. In the end I had decided to bring Alistair, Wynne, and Shale with me. I probably would be useless but Alistair and Shale were strong, Wynne could heal and defend us.

"It looks like Morrigan had found someone to dance to her music," Flemeths voice was light but her eyes were barely slits on her face as she stared at me.

"You know that's not the only reason I am hear…" I swallowed dryly, "Emellanar." No one said anything for a moment, than Flemeth laughed.

"You figured that out did you?" she asked, folding her arms.

"And me? I am Aeirn?"

"Yes. I pulled you back from the world I abandoned you in so long ago. Your soul has been recycled in that universe too many times to be same exact Aeirn, of course." I felt very nauseous.

"What is she talking about?" Wynne asked us in her most authoritative voice.

"Simple mage. Your leader here is not a Grey Warden, nor is she even human. She is a reincarnation of an Old God!" Flemeth chuckled as if she had said something clever. Wynne knew the truth about where I came from, which Flemeth didn't know.

"This can't be right!" I cried out, suddenly angry. Things still didn't make sense!

"Oh? I suspect you have been to the fade and while you were there you looked strangely dragonesque." I looked to Alistair who was thin lipped and staring determinedly at the witch. Not witch really, god.

"What of you? Morrigan told me you are mortal from your grimoure," I pointed this out in a strained voice. Flemeths demeanor changed at this.

"Something I didn't expect would happen. Our brothers were sent into slumber for their crimes against humanity, but I? I was stripped of the gift of immortality. Alas my magic is as strong as ever," her eyes glinted at the end. I probably should have felt intimidated by her but I was feeling quite angry. Angry that everything I knew about myself was a lie, angry that things were so far out of my control, and most of all angry that she looked so damned smug.

"Why did you bring me here? Was it really to stop the blight?" I forced myself to ask the question.

"No. There are things happening that will bring back the glory of the Old Gods, but you needed to be back on this plane for it to happen. Our blood calls the darkspawn, feeds the spirits of the fade. Without you I would remain like this," she shrugged. And she thought I would die. She wants me to die, I realized. I recalled the words I had heard before waking up in Thedas for the first time. It was a warning against her.

"We are here to stop you. We will stop the blight, and I won't let you hurt anyone anymore!" I fought back tears. The words felt much stronger than they actually were coming out. She smiled at me and nodded. She didn't need to say it. Even if we killed her now, things were set into motion that would either throw the world off balance or strengthen it.

We fought her, her dragon form, and killed her. She was strong, but not as strong as I had prepared myself for. It didn't sit right for any of us.

"We will run into it again," Shale determined, staring at the dragon body. I had felt the aura of Flemeth leave the body, but where it went I was sure it wasn't the Fade.

"Maybe, but for now we have the blight to worry about," I replied grimly. We collected the real Grimoire and took it back to Morrigan. The next night, before setting off to Orzammar, I would tell my friends the truth.

OooOoOooOooOoO

Alistair didn't even ask for permission before coming into my tent. When we had returned from Flemeths hut I had all but thrown the Grimoire at Morrigan before hiding in my tent. What was I? Was I Kimila or Aeirn? Human or Dragon? Instead of letting me alone, Alistair had to stick his big nose into my thoughts.

"Are you, err, ok?" he asked, sitting beside me. I couldn't help but glare at him from the ball I had made of myself.

"Bad question. Do you want to talk?"

"About what? The fact that I am made of one big lie? Or that we just made an enemy that makes Loghain look like a puppy?" I asked, sitting up. He tried hard to fight a smile as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Does it change the person you are on the inside? Does it change your goal to stop the Blight and save Fereldan?" He held me back and looked into my eyes, "Does it change your feelings for me and our friends?"

"No," my voice was no more than a whisper. He hugged me tightly as I fought with the voices in my head. So many things were, frankly, fucked up now. We had Loghain to deal with, the Blight, Flemeth, and our feelings. After a long while I felt more in control of myself, enough to make a couple of decisions in my heart.

"Alistair, I have a question."

"Yeeeeees?" he exaggerated cheekily. I laughed and pulled away, trying very hard to be serious.

"Do you….well…would you want to spend the night with me? Here?" I felt my cheeks flame and I couldn't meet his eyes.

"Wait, your tent as in…" he took a deep breath. He looked very nervous.

"If you don't want to I understand," I added quickly.

"No! Nonononono. That's not…what I mean is; Are you sure you want to do it here? In camp? Like this? It's not exactly romantic," he looked around the cramped tent. There was also the impending doom of the world hanging over us, he probably meant to add.

"Yes. I want to be with you Alistair, before everything goes to shit. Um," I shook my head. "I love you and I have fallen very hard for you in the last 8 or so months I have been here. I want this to happen." He didn't reply. Instead he just lowered his face to mine and we kissed.

It became too hot for clothing very quickly after that. He lowered me to my bedroll as our lips fought each other with urgency. In the back of mind I recalled the fade-Alistair, but I pushed those thoughts away. The here and now was what was important. We both hadn't really changed from our battle with Flemeth so we fought a losing battle with our amour. In frustration we had to take the time to remove everything metal or leather.

His fingers were a little shaky as he caressed my chest through my shirt. I was equally as lost as he was, but I wasn't going to let that get in my way. He stared in wonder as I slowly took my shirt off. There was a slight pang of worry when I remembered that I didn't have the most attractive body, but the look of love and attraction on Alistair's face erased my worries. Very gently he lowered his lips to my breast bad and kissed my hardening nipples through it. It wasn't like the fade, the feelings were much rawer and new to me. My breath was hitched as he switched breasts. My hands found a way to take off his shirts somehow and he pulled away to take off my breast band.

"Maker…" he managed to mutter before we kissed again. I worked to slide out of my pants while our torsos pressed against each other. His coarse fingers tickled my sides as they lowered to my hips and the edges of my small clothes. We mimicked each other's movements for what seemed hours before he finally took off his pants. I felt how hard he was against my thigh, although he was still restrained by his small clothes.

"Can I?" he asked, his voice cracking when his fingers tugged at my hips. I couldn't help but giggle nervously as I nodded and he removed the rest of our clothes. It had grown dark so I could barely see him even though the fire in our camp gave us a little illumination. I could feel that Alistair was, in fact, decent sized. Not the monster from the fade, but gloat worthy. I had read enough romance novels to know that much. My hands were shaking has his slid across my thigh and to my damp mound. Alistair was a big guy, therefore his fingers were big, so the way he touched me was enough for me to outright moan. I grasped his shoulders as he took my noises as a good thing and continued to gently touch my clit.

He became braver and ran a finger against my opening. He watched my reaction as he slid it into me. I couldn't help but whimper in pleasure and discomfort at the intruder. As an attempt to give him a little attention I reached over and lightly touched his member. It was much harder then I imagined it to be, but the reaction in his voice was amazing. The light lit up his eyes as they sparkled and his breathing became ragged. Our hands left each other as he kissed me with a roughness I would not expect from him. His member pressed against my wetness and I gasped. I wanted him, I could feel the fire in my loins, but I knew it would hurt.

"Alistair, please," I groaned as he lifted himself away. I could tell he was looking at me.

"I love you," he whispered, pulling my legs further apart and aiming himself. He guided his member to me and pressed it to the opening. Maker he was big! I whimpered in pain so he stopped.

"Go on. It will hurt at first, but it will get better," I hoped. After an eternity of him restraining himself, with one final thrust he was in me. There was an intense pain that felt like electricity had shout through my pelvic area. I could help but cry out and dig my nails into his shoulders. He took it without making a noise and slowly began to move himself inside me. It wasn't long before there was a subtle pleasure overtaking the pain. With my hips starting to move he thrusts became more intense and fast. Caution to the wind, we allowed ourselves to moan and cry in pleasure until Alistair thrust in a final time and came. Even as he pulled out, his fingers were there to help me finish. With surprising ability he drew me over the edge in what could only be explained as magic. My body arched and my legs clamped on his hand as sweet release washed over me.

We stayed there, next to each other, staring into the darkness at each other's faces.

"According to the sisters at the chantry I should be struck down by lightening by now," he finally said with a chuckle.

"Not for that performance," I mused, "Especially that last thing, how did you know to do that by the way?"

"Meaning the maker will forgive me? Ha…I have my ways," he laughed and I poked him in the chest. "By the way… you know our little party is going to talk. They do that you know." I sighed.

"I suppose we weren't exactly subtle were we? Well, first smart comment and I'll feed them to the darkspawn."

"See? That's why I love you! I've told you that right?" he kissed my forehead as I rolled my eyes.

"Yes. I love you too Alistair."

"But what now?" his voice grew dark.

"We stop the blight. I won't ever stop loving you, so we have that at least to contend with."

"I get it. We have something to do and we should do it,' extra emphasis on "it." He leaned his head on mine and sighed, tickling my shoulder. I heard his stomach grumbled at that moment, I could also smell stew outside by the campfire.

"Do we have it in us to go get some food?" I wondered out loud.

"I do, I am a Grey Warden after all," he sat up and looked at the darkness.

"You'd think a god wouldn't be as tired as I feel," I grumbled. We sorted out our clothing and got dressed. Bugger to anyone who tried to ruin our good mood tonight.

OooOooOooOooOooO

I decided to move our group meeting until the night before we reached Orzammar. If my group was aware of what happened in my tent they made no effort to let us know. I did catch Wynne teasing Alistair once or twice. Apparently he liked watching my swaying hips. We camped out that night outside of Orzammar. We ran into some hired hands, but they were fairly easy for the group to take down. When the sun set I called everyone over to the fire for a meeting. I was nerouvs. Nervous they would hate me, leave, think I was crazy, or all of the above.

"What is this about?" Sten asked, standing stiffly beside Shale. I blanched for a moment, but Alistair gave me a reassuring smile.

"I need to be truthful with everyone about something."

"I knew it! You have a secret fetish for leather," Zevran exclaimed with a wink. Leliana smacked his arm as she sat beside him. She looked at me with intent eyes, but she didn't look particularly upset.

"Let her talk," Wynne told everyone calmly, leaning on her staff. Morrigan rolled her eyes but remained silent and Leo sat beside her.

So, I explained it to them. Everything from when I died in my world, what happened in the fade,the conversation with the dragon, and what Flemeth revealed.

"So it is not really a Grey Warden? Or a fleshy human for that matter? Good, I knew there was something different about you," Shale sounded happy.

"You are…a god then?" Leliana asked, eyes wide. I could see the story forming in her head.

"No….I don't know. The way I see it is that Emellanar tool Aeirn's soul and sent it to another world. In my world there is a concept that when you die your soul is re-used in another life. Aeirn's soul was used too many times. When Emellanar brought my soul, Aeirn's soul, into this world I think she used the body of Aeirn to do it," the more I said it the dumber it sounded.

"This explains a lot. Your inability to protect yourself," Sten didn't sound pleased, than again he never did.

"I've gotten better," I muttered. Zevran heard me and grinned.

"I don't know what's going to happen because of this," I explained.

"Do you plan on stopping the Blight?" Sten asked.

"What?" I blinked.

"Grey Warden or not, do you want to stop the Blight?" He repeated.

"Of course! I still want to stop the Arch Demon and Loghain!"

"Then it doesn't matter. You are sworn to stop the Blight, and as long as that is your goal you have my blade," he meant the one I had painstakingly tracked down for him in Redcliffe.

"It doesn't matter where you come from, you told me that yourself," Leliana added brightly.

"I can't call you Warden anymore I suppose?" Zevran shrugged, "You are the one we follow, not the Grey Warden. No offense my friend," he nodded at Alistair.

"We are with you, and if it comes to it, none of us will abandon you if it becomes too much," Wynne finished their moving speech. I felt tears prick my eyes, but I knew I had to be strong for them.

"Tomorrow we go to Orzammar, and then we stop Loghain. The darkspawn are after."

"Good, and then, if we feel like, we can go save kittens from trees if you want," Morrigan threw her hands in the air and went back to her own little spot of camp. Something was wrong, but I would have to talk to her later. Alistair pulled me aside as Leliana and Wynne decided what we would have for dinner. Our rations were low, but Leliana, who was in charge of our money, would be left behind with a few others to restock with the dwarves.

"Did that actually go as smoothly as I though?" I inquired weakly. I had excepted at least one person to storm from camp forever.

"In the last 8 months you have made everyone here your friend. You helped Sten, Shale, Wynne, Leliana, Morrigan, and me find things we have lost and fix problems we had. You are an amazing woman," he teased. My eyes rolled up to the sky, but I was blushing.

"Do you have something to say?" I asked, changing the subject. He automatically straightened up and became serious.

"Even though we haven't known each other for very long I have come to care for you…a lot. You were the first woman I have ever slept with, and if I have my way you'll be the last," he stopped to read my expression.

"I feel the same way," I replied softly.

"Good. That is very good," he kissed me, gently. I loved that I was the perfect height where our kisses were angled like in romance movies.

"You two need to stop that and help up prepare dinner!" Leliana called, hiding a smile. Zevran snickered openly.

"Ok, where are the darkspawn when you need them?" I asked darkly.

( It has been soooooooooooooooo(x100) long since I wrote something like this ;D By Chap 10 Origins will be done with, so a lot is going to happen. Write some reviews if you are interested in reading what I have planned for later on. There is a lot that will happen to Kimila through Awakening and 2)


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